Well, folks, you can finally sleep soundly tonight. Lock your doors if you want, but you probably don’t need to anymore. The brave heroes of our government have done it. They have neutralized the ultimate threat to our national security. They caught a five-year-old boy in Minneapolis.

That is right. A child who still counts on his fingers and probably believes in Santa Claus was taken into custody. I know what you are thinking. You are thinking, "Buck, surely this is a mistake." But no. This is the new normal. This is what we pay for. We pay grown men and women to gear up like they are going to war, all to round up a kid who probably needs help tying his shoes.

Let’s look at the numbers. Over the last six weeks, the folks at ICE have picked up about 3,000 people. That is a lot of people. That is a small town. And in that net, they caught this little guy and his dad. Now, you might ask why a child needs to be detained. You might be crazy enough to think that kids shouldn't be in handcuffs or holding cells. But don't worry, the suits in charge have an answer for you.

JD Vance, a man who seems to think real life is just a weird TV show he is starring in, stepped up to explain it to us simpletons. He said the agents were "protecting" the boy. Yes, you heard that right. Protection. Apparently, the father "ran" during the sweep.

Let’s break down that logic for a second, because it is truly special. It is the kind of logic you only hear from people who have never had a real job or faced a real problem. The dad ran. Of course he ran. If a bunch of people with guns and badges show up screaming, most people run. It is instinct. It is what rabbits do. It is what deer do. It is what humans do when they are scared. But in the eyes of the law, running away means you are guilty. It means you deserve to lose your kid.

And the "protection" part? That is the best joke of the year. They protected the kid by taking him from his dad and throwing him into the system. That is like punching someone in the face to stop them from sneezing. It solves the immediate problem, I guess, but it creates a whole lot of pain. Imagine being five years old. Your dad is running. There is yelling. Then your dad is gone, and you are with strangers who have guns. Does that feel like protection to you? Or does it feel like a nightmare?

But wait, it gets better. It is not just about kids. It is about moms, too. While they were busy "protecting" the youth of America, reports say these agents also shot Renee Good. She is a mother of three. She was unarmed.

Let that sink in. Unarmed. A mom. Shot.

We are at a point where the people we pay to keep order are shooting unarmed moms and locking up kindergarteners. And we are supposed to nod and say, "Good job." We are supposed to believe this makes us safer. Safer from what? From families? From people who just want to work?

Now, here comes the part where everyone gets mad. The people on the Left are furious. They are planning protests. They are making signs. They are going to yell in the streets on January 23. Good for them. It gives them something to do. They can feel righteous. They can post pictures of themselves looking sad and angry on the internet. But let’s be honest. Does the machine care about your sign? Does the system care if you are sad? No. The machine keeps grinding. It eats people. That is what it does.

And the people on the Right? They are doing mental gymnastics. They are twisting themselves into pretzels to justify this. They talk about "law and order." They talk about "rules." They ignore the fact that the "rule" involves shooting unarmed women and jailing toddlers. They act like this is tough. It isn't tough. It is weak. It is bullying. Bullying is never tough. It is just sad.

This is the state of things. We have a government that acts like a hammer, and it thinks every single human being is a nail. It doesn't matter if the nail is a hardened criminal or a kid who watches cartoons. Bam. Hit it with the hammer.

We are all just watching the show. We are watching the cruelty and pretending it has a purpose. We are pretending there is a plan. But there isn't a plan. There is just fear. The people in charge are scared of losing control, so they tighten the grip. They squeeze harder. And the more they squeeze, the more people get hurt.

So, congratulations, America. You did it. You stopped the five-year-old. The streets are safe from his coloring books and his juice boxes. You showed him who is boss. I hope you are proud. I hope it was worth it. Because looking at this mess, it sure doesn't feel like a victory. It feels like we have all lost our minds.