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The Daily Absurdity

Unfiltered. Unverified. Unbelievable.

Privacy Policy

Last Updated: When the lawyers woke up.

At The Daily Absurdity ("we", "us", "our"), we respect your privacy about as much as big tech companies do, which is to say: legally we have to say we do, but actually we just want your data to show you ads.

1. Data We Collect

We collect information you provide mostly unwittingly:

  • Device Information: We know if you're on an iPhone. We judge you for it.
  • Cookies: We use cookies. Not the delicious kind. The kind that follow you around the internet whispering "buy this toaster" until you succumb.
  • Usage Data: We track which articles you read so we can feed you more of what makes you angry.

2. How We Use Your Data

We use your data for the following noble purposes:

  • To keep the servers running.
  • To serve you personalized advertisements for products you don't need.
  • To analyze traffic patterns so Buck knows which countries hate him most.

3. Third-Party Services & AdSense

We use Google Analytics to understand how visitors interact with our site and Google AdSense to serve advertisements. These services may collect information such as your IP address, your ISP, the browser you used to visit our site, and in some cases, whether you have Flash installed.

AdSense & DoubleClick Cookie: Google, as a third-party vendor, uses cookies to serve ads on this site. Google's use of the DoubleClick cookie enables it and its partners to serve ads to our users based on their visit to our sites and/or other sites on the Internet.

You may opt out of personalized advertising by visiting Google Ad Settings. Alternatively, you can opt out of a third-party vendor's use of cookies for personalized advertising by visiting aboutads.info.

4. Formal Data Disclosure (The Non-Joke Part)

Notice to All Users:

  • We use cookies to personalize content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyze our traffic.
  • We share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners who may combine it with other information that you've provided to them or that they've collected from your use of their services.
  • For more details on how Google uses data, please visit How Google uses information from sites or apps that use our services.

5. Your Rights

Depending on where you live (e.g., GDPR in Europe, CCPA in California), you have the right to request access to your data, delete your data, or shout at clouds. You can contact us to exercise these rights, and we will grudgingly comply because the fines are expensive.

5. Changes to This Policy

We may update this policy. We probably won't tell you. Check back here if you are bored.

Note: This is an interpreted news website based on social commentary. However, the data collection mentioned above (Google Analytics, AdSense) is real. We actually do use these services. So, joke's on us, really.