Terms of Service
Effective Date: Today, unless we change our minds.
1. Introduction
Welcome to The Daily Absurdity. By accessing this website, you agree to these Terms and Conditions. If you do not agree, please close this tab and go read something boring like the actual news.
2. Analysis of Reality
CRITICAL WARNING: THIS WEBSITE IS INTERPRETED NEWS AND SOCIAL COMMENTARY.
The content on this site is interpreted through a cynical lens. Names, quotes, and analysis are for social commentary. If you take financial, medical, or political advice from Buck Valor, you deserve whatever happens to you.
3. Intellectual Property
We own the content. You can share it, laugh at it, or print it out and burn it. You cannot steal it and say you wrote it. Buck Valor is a litigious fictional character.
4. Limitation of Liability
We are not liable for:
- Any confusion resulting from believing our stories.
- High blood pressure caused by our cynicism.
- Your boss catching you reading this at work.
5. User Conduct
Don’t be a jerk in the comments. We have a "Delete" button and we enjoy using it.
6. Governing Law
These terms are governed by the laws of common sense and the state of absurdity. Any disputes shall be settled by a thumb war or binding arbitration in a location of our choosing (probably a bar).
7. Contact
If you have questions about these Terms, please visit our Contact page and use the "Legal Threat" category so we can filter it correctly.