Venice is a sinking pile of old rocks. People go there to eat bad pasta and look at water that smells like a wet dog. It is a city of ghosts. One of the biggest ghosts is a place called Palazzo Ca’ Dario. This house is on the Grand Canal. It has nine bedrooms. It looks like a fancy wedding cake made of marble. But there is a catch. If you buy this house, you will probably die. Not from old age. From something weird. The locals call it the house that kills. Seven people have died there so far. And yet, people still want to buy it. This is why humanity is a joke.

The house was built back in the 1400s. A guy named Giovanni Dario owned it first. He was a diplomat. He worked for the city. He thought he was a big deal because he made a peace deal with the Turks. He built this palace to show off his money. He put his name on the front. Big mistake. Soon after, his daughter died. Then his son-in-law was killed. Then his grandson died in a fight. The house started eating his family before the paint was even dry. You would think people would take the hint. But no. For hundreds of years, more people moved in. And more people kept dying.

One guy was a scholar. He died. Another guy was a scientist. He died. Even a rock star from a band called The Who lived there. He died of a heart attack right after he bought it. It does not matter who you are. The house does not care if you are a noble or a merchant. It does not care if you are a famous musician. It just wants you gone. It is the ultimate landlord. It takes your rent and then it takes your life. And we are supposed to feel bad for these people? They have enough money to buy a palace in Venice. They could live anywhere. They chose the death house. That is not bad luck. That is being stupid.

Now the house is for sale again. It has been empty for a long time. The estate agents are trying to sell it. They talk about the nice views. They talk about the history. They talk about how Claude Monet painted it. They do not talk about the body bags as much. They want a buyer who has millions of dollars and zero common sense. And they will find one. Because rich people love things that are 'exclusive.' Even if it is an exclusive club for dead people. They think they are special. They think their money will protect them from a jinx. They think, 'Sure, seven people died, but I have a gym membership and a high-speed internet connection. I will be fine.'

Venice is the perfect place for this. The whole city is a lie. It is a theme park for tourists who want to feel classy. They ride in boats and pay twenty dollars for a coffee. They walk over bridges and take photos of buildings that are rotting from the inside out. The Palazzo Ca’ Dario is just the honest version of the rest of the city. It is beautiful on the outside and fatal on the inside. It is a trap. But humans love traps. We love to buy things that we do not need with money we do not have to impress people we do not like. And in this case, we buy a house that wants to kill us.

The Left will say this house is a symbol of how the rich get what they deserve. They will clap while another billionaire falls down the stairs. The Right will say it is a great investment opportunity if you just ignore the ghosts and fix the plumbing. They are both wrong. It is just a house. It is a pile of stone. It does not have a soul. It does not have a curse. It just has a long list of owners who were too arrogant to realize that they were not the kings of the world. They thought they owned the house. But the house always wins.

If you have enough money to buy a palace with nine bedrooms in Venice, you are already the problem. You are part of the group of people who made the world this boring and expensive. You want to live in a museum because your own life is empty. You want to sit where Monet sat. You want to breathe the same air as some dead diplomat from the 1400s. Well, go ahead. Sign the papers. Move your expensive furniture into the rooms. Look out at the canal. Just do not be surprised when the house decides it is tired of looking at you. The world does not need more palaces. It needs fewer people who think they are too important to die. The Palazzo Ca’ Dario is just doing its part to clean up the neighborhood. It is the only thing in Venice that is actually doing a public service. It is taking out the trash, one millionaire at a time.