Let’s take a trip to Elk Horn, Iowa. It is a small place. A quiet place. It has about six hundred people living there. It is the kind of place where everyone knows what you had for dinner last Tuesday. They are proud people. They are proud of being Americans, and they are very proud of coming from Denmark. They even have a real Danish windmill that they brought over piece by piece from the old country. It sits there spinning in the wind, looking nice and calm.

Most of the people in Elk Horn voted for Donald Trump. They like him. They think he is strong. They think he is smart. They think he is a great businessman who makes great deals. They put his signs in their yards right next to their Danish flags. They were happy. Life was simple.

But then, the man they voted for decided to open his mouth.

Usually, when the President says something crazy, these folks nod along. They cheer. They love it when he yells at people they don't know. But this time, he looked at a map and saw a big chunk of ice called Greenland. Greenland belongs to Denmark. It has belonged to Denmark for a very long time. The people in Elk Horn know this because they love Denmark.

So, the President decides he wants to buy it. Just like that. Like he is at a flea market looking at a used lamp. He thinks he can just write a check and take a whole country. He thinks the people living there come with the deal, like furniture. It is a wild idea. It is the kind of idea a child has when playing a board game.

The people in Elk Horn are confused. They are baffled. They are watching the news and rubbing their eyes. They cannot believe it. Why does he want to buy Greenland? Why is he talking about their grandmother’s homeland like it is a cheap hotel he wants to tear down?

It gets worse. The Prime Minister of Denmark is a nice lady. She heard the President wanted to buy her land. She did the polite thing. She said, "No thank you." She said the idea was absurd. Because it is. You cannot just buy countries anymore. We stopped doing that a long time ago. It is not polite.

Did the President say, "Okay, my mistake"? No. He got mad. He got very mad. He called the nice Danish lady "nasty." He canceled his trip to visit Denmark. He threw a fit because he couldn't buy the ice island.

Now the folks in Elk Horn are stuck. They have a problem. On one hand, they love their heritage. They love the nice Danish lady. They love the idea of Denmark being a free country that isn't sold for cash. On the other hand, they love the guy who yells at everyone.

For years, they watched him yell at other countries. They watched him insult other leaders. They didn't care then. It was funny then. It was "America First" then. But now he is yelling at *their* people. Now he is insulting *their* history. And suddenly, it isn't so funny anymore.

This is the problem with falling in love with a wrecking ball. Eventually, the wrecking ball swings back toward your house. You can't cheer when it smashes your neighbor's fence and then act surprised when it hits your windmill.

The people in Elk Horn are trying to make excuses. They are saying things like, "Maybe he is joking." Or, "He just wants to protect us." They are twisting their brains into knots. They don't want to admit that the man they picked doesn't care about their history. He doesn't care about their windmill. He just wants to own things.

It is sad to watch. It is pathetic, really. These are nice people. They work hard. But they bought a ticket to a circus, and now they are upset that the clowns are acting crazy. What did they expect? Did they think they were special? Did they think they were safe?

Nobody is safe. If he thinks he can buy Greenland, maybe next week he will try to sell Iowa. Maybe he will try to trade Elk Horn for a golf course in Scotland. Who knows?

The truth is, the people of Elk Horn will probably still vote for him. They will be confused for a week, and then they will forget. They will look at their windmill, and they will look at their red hats, and they will pretend none of this happened. That is the most tragic part. They will let him insult their family, and then they will say, "Thank you, sir, may I have another?"

So, let’s pour one out for Elk Horn. They wanted a tough guy. They got one. Now they have to sit there and watch him try to buy their heritage with a check that would probably bounce anyway.