Let’s talk about the clowns in Europe. They are in a real mess. There is this guy named Georgios Samaras. He is an assistant professor at a fancy school in London called King’s College. He went on a news show called France 24 to talk to a lady named Sharon Gaffney. He had a big message for all the tough-guy politicians in Europe. The message is simple: stop trying to be like Donald Trump. It is not working. It is making you look like losers. And in the world of politics, looking like a loser is the one thing you cannot do. Even if you actually are one, which most of them are.

Here is the deal. For the last few years, all these far-right parties in places like France, Germany, and Italy have been acting like fanboys. They see a guy in America who yells a lot and wears a red hat, and they think, "Hey, I want to do that too!" They think that if they act loud and mean, they will get all the power. They think if they say things that make people mad, they will win. But they forgot one big thing. They live in Europe. And in Europe, people generally think Donald Trump is a joke. He is about as popular there as a skunk at a garden party.

Samaras says there is no way to win voters if you are trying to appease a guy from Florida. Think about that word: appease. It is a word we usually use for people who are scared of a bully. It means you are giving him what he wants so he won't hurt you. These European leaders want to be known as big, strong nationalists. They say they love their own countries more than anything. But then they spend all their time trying to kiss the feet of a guy who probably couldn't find their country on a map. It is embarrassing. It is like watching a kid wear his dad’s shoes and try to walk. He just trips and falls on his face. The voters are standing there watching this, and they are not impressed. They are laughing.

This is the big irony. These far-right groups tell everyone they hate globalism. They say they want to take their countries back. But then they copy a guy from another country! That is the most globalist thing you can do. You are taking a brand from America and trying to sell it in a place where people don't want to buy it. It is lazy. It shows they don't have any original ideas. They just see what worked on TV in America and they try to do a cheap version of it. It’s like a knock-off movie. It’s the dollar-store version of a revolution.

And let’s look at the voters. Samaras is right when he says Trump is deeply unpopular with the general population in Europe. Europeans like to think they are very smart and very refined. They like to look down their noses at Americans. They think American politics is a circus. So when a local politician starts acting like the ringmaster of that circus, the voters get annoyed. They don't want a loud-mouth. They want someone who looks like a serious person. Even if that person is also a liar, they at least want the lie to be told in a way that sounds nice.

The far-right is stuck. They want the energy of the Trump crowd. They want the noise. But they can't have it because their own neighbors think the whole thing is gross. It’s a classic trap. If they don't act like Trump, they look weak to their own hardcore fans. If they do act like Trump, they look like idiots to everyone else. There is no way out. They are stuck in the middle, and they are sinking.

But don't think the other side is any better. The people who hate Trump in Europe are just as annoying. They act like they are the heroes of a movie. They talk about "values" and "democracy" like they are the only ones who know what those words mean. They use Trump as a boogeyman to scare people into voting for them. It’s a big game. Both sides need a villain. The far-right needs a hero to copy, and the Left needs a monster to point at. Neither side actually cares about making things better for the person working a normal job. They just want to win the argument on the news.

Samaras getting paid to say this is the funniest part. You have to go to school for a long time to become an assistant professor. You have to write big books and talk to important people. And after all that work, your big discovery is that people don't like loud bullies who act fake. I could have told you that for the price of a cheap beer. But that is how the world works now. We have experts to tell us the sky is blue and the water is wet.

So, here we are. The far-right in Europe is failing because they are try-hards. They are trying to be someone they are not. They are trying to sell a product that nobody wants. And they are doing it because they are too lazy to think for themselves. They are just followers. They are not leaders. They are just people in suits who want to be famous. And the more they try to be like the guy in the red hat, the more the regular people will walk away. It is a slow-motion car crash, and the only thing to do is watch and laugh at the wreckage.