Breaking News: Reality is crumbling

The Daily Absurdity

Unfiltered. Unverified. Unbelievable.

Home/Asia

The General’s Shopping List: Why the Myanmar Military Junta Declared War on Cat Food and Tampons

Philomena O'Connor
Written by
Philomena O'ConnorIrony Consultant
Monday, February 2, 2026
Share this story
A hyper-realistic, desaturated image of a supermarket aisle in Myanmar with completely empty metal shelves, dusty and barren. In the center, a single, lonely red soda can sits under a harsh spotlight, casting a long shadow. In the background, out of focus, the silhouette of a military boot steps into the frame. The lighting is cold and clinical, emphasizing scarcity and gloom.
(Image found via Google Search for: Coca-Cola, cat food, tampons )

There is a special kind of madness that takes over when the **Myanmar military junta** tries to run an economy. It is a theater of the absurd, a tragic play where the audience is held captive and the actors have forgotten their lines. In the latest escalation of the **Yangon economic crisis**, the regime has decided on a new enemy. It is not a rebel army or a foreign spy. The new enemy of the state is a can of Coca-Cola. It is a bag of cat food. It is a box of tampons. These drastic **import bans** are flashing red lights for international observers.

We are watching a country collapse in real time, and the details are as stupid as they are sad. The military junta, the group of generals running the show since they seized power, has effectively depleted the nation's **foreign currency reserves**. This happens to all dictators eventually. They spend so much time buying loyalty and weapons that they forget to keep the actual country running. Now, desperate to save what little money they have left, they have started blocking imports. They are closing the doors to the outside world.

The list of missing goods reads like a bad joke. You cannot find soda. You cannot find snacks. You cannot find basic hygiene products for women. Imagine the level of disconnect required to ban tampons. It tells you everything you need to know about who is making the decisions. It is a room full of old men in uniforms who have never had to worry about a grocery list in their lives. They view these things as "luxuries" or "unnecessary foreign goods." To the people on the ground suffering through this **Myanmar trade collapse**, these are just the basics of being a human being in the modern world.

The generals claim they want the country to be "self-reliant." This is the favorite lie of every failing regime in history. They tell the people to buy local products instead. But here is the problem: you cannot just snap your fingers and make a factory appear. You cannot order a localized economy into existence like you order a soldier to march. Myanmar does not have the factories to replace the things they are banning. So, when they block the imports, they aren't creating local jobs. They are just creating empty shelves.

Let’s look at the sheer pettiness of banning cat food. It seems small, doesn't it? But it is a symbol. It is a sign that the government wants to control even the smallest comforts of your home life. When a government starts worrying about what your pet eats, it is because they have lost control of the big picture. They are micromanaging the tiny details because the big things—like stability, peace, and actual wealth—are completely broken.

The result is exactly what you would expect. It is not a surge in national pride. It is a surge in misery. The prices of the goods that are left have gone through the roof. A simple bottle of cooking oil or a bag of rice is becoming a luxury item. The black market is exploding. Smugglers are the new heroes of the economy, sneaking in soap and soft drinks across the border like they are carrying gold bars.

This is the classic cycle of incompetence. First, the government breaks the economy. Then, they panic because they have no money. Then, they ban imports to save money. This makes everything more expensive and makes the people poorer. Finally, they blame the people for not being "patriotic" enough to starve quietly. It is a boring, predictable script. We saw it in the Soviet Union. We see it in Venezuela. Now we see it in Myanmar.

The tragedy is that Myanmar is not a poor country by nature. It has resources. It has smart, hardworking people. It has a location right next to major trading partners. It should be rich. It should be booming. Instead, it is being strangled by its own leaders. They are so afraid of losing control that they would rather rule over a wasteland than let the economy function freely.

So, the next time you walk into a store and buy a cold drink or a box of pet food without thinking about it, remember this story. Remember that somewhere else, a general is sitting at a big desk, signing a paper to make those things illegal, thinking he is saving his country. He isn't saving anything. He is just turning the lights out, one aisle at a time.

***

### References & Fact-Check

* **Primary Source:** [The Washington Post: Coca-Cola, cat food, tampons: The missing goods of military-run Myanmar](https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2026/02/02/myanmar-yangon-economic-crisis/) * **Context:** This article interprets the current **Myanmar economic crisis**, focusing on the shortage of consumer goods caused by the junta's attempts to conserve foreign currency.

This story is an interpreted work of social commentary based on real events. Source: Washington Post

Distribute the Absurdity

Enjoying the Apocalypse?

Journalism is dead, but our server costs are very much alive. Throw a coin to your local cynic to keep the lights on while we watch the world burn.

Tax Deductible? Probably Not.

Comments (0)

Loading comments...