Surprise, Surprise: Myanmar Military Proxy Wins Landslide in 'Sham' 2026 Election


Well, stop the presses and hold your breath. The suspense is finally over. In a twist that absolutely nobody saw coming—unless they have eyes, ears, and a basic functioning brain—the **Myanmar military proxy party** is expected to win a landslide victory in the **2026 election**. I know, I know. You are shocked. You are reeling. You need a moment to process this stunning upset. How could a political party backed by the very **junta** that seized control of the country possibly win a vote run by that same army? It is one of the great mysteries of our time, right up there with 'why does it get wet when it rains?'
Let’s be honest with ourselves for a moment. This wasn’t an election; it was a play. It was a very long, very expensive, and very tragic piece of theater designed to make a dictatorship look like a democracy. They spent a whole month dragging this charade out. A month! Most countries can figure out who won an election in a single night. But apparently, when you are busy ensuring the result is exactly what you want it to be, you need a little extra time to get the paperwork 'correct.' The sheer commitment to the bit is almost impressive, in a dark, twisted sort of way.
**Junta leader Min Aung Hlaing** has been out there making speeches that would be funny if they weren't so grim. He has rejected all the criticism regarding this **sham election**. The entire world is looking at this and saying, 'This is a sham,' and he is standing there with a straight face saying, 'No, this is stability.' He calls it a return to democracy. This is a special kind of boldness. It is like a burglar breaking into your house, eating your food, sleeping in your bed, and then telling you that he has restored order to the household because he washed a single spoon.
He claims this election has the 'support of the public.' I suppose that depends on how you define the public. If the 'public' means the people currently wearing uniforms and the people terrified of the people wearing uniforms, then sure, the support is overwhelming. It is easy to get a landslide victory when you have cleared the playing field of anyone who might actually beat you. That is not winning a race; that is running alone on a track you built and declaring yourself the fastest man alive. It is childish, really. It is the logic of a schoolyard bully who makes up the rules of the game as he goes along just so he never has to lose.
But let’s look at the word 'stability' again, because authoritarians love that word. They throw it around like confetti. They want you to believe that the only alternative to their iron grip is chaos. They tell the world, 'Look, we held a vote! We are civilized!' But stability at the end of a gun barrel isn't peace; it's just quiet. It is the silence of people who know that speaking up gets them in trouble. The military wants to cement its grip on power, but they want to do it while wearing a nice suit instead of fatigues. They want the legitimacy that comes with a ballot box, without the pesky risk of actually letting people choose.
The international community has spent the last month deriding this poll. We have all pointed our fingers and shaken our heads. We use words like 'sham' and 'illegitimate.' And the junta does not care. Not even a little bit. They know that we know it’s fake. They don't care about the truth; they care about the paperwork. They just need a piece of paper that says 'President' so they can go to meetings and pretend they belong there. It is a performance for an audience of one: themselves.
So, the voting has ended. The boxes are being ticked. The results will come out, and the headlines will say the **military proxy** won a 'landslide.' We should not be surprised. We should not pretend this is news. This is just gravity doing what gravity does. Heavy things fall, and men with absolute power do not give it up just because someone handed out a few pieces of paper. They have built a stage, written the script, cast themselves as the heroes, and now they are clapping for their own performance. The rest of the country is just trapped in the theater with the doors locked.
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### Authoritative Sources & Fact-Check To ensure transparency and topical authority, please review the following source regarding the actual events surrounding the **Myanmar election results**: * **Primary Source:** [Myanmar military proxy expected to win landslide in widely denounced election](https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/jan/25/myanmar-election-enters-final-stage-amid-airstrikes-and-exclusions) (The Guardian, Jan 25, 2026) * **Context:** The election has been criticized by the international community due to the exclusion of opposition parties and ongoing airstrikes.
This story is an interpreted work of social commentary based on real events. Source: The Guardian