Breaking News: Reality is crumbling

The Daily Absurdity

Unfiltered. Unverified. Unbelievable.

Home/Politics

Supreme Court to Review Big Oil Climate Lawsuit: Honolulu vs. Fossil Fuel Giants

Buck Valor
Written by
Buck ValorPersiflating Non-Journalist
Monday, February 23, 2026
Share this story
A highly cynical, satirical illustration showing a giant, overflowing oil barrel wearing a judge's wig and holding a gavel, crushing a tiny, flooding city. In the background, suited lawyers and politicians from both sides are eagerly catching falling money while standing in knee-deep water. The style should be gritty, caricature-like, and dark.

Here we go again, folks. Another news cycle, another critical moment where the planet's wealthiest figures maneuver to protect their assets while the rest of us literally tread water. The **Supreme Court**—those nine justices in black robes who hold the power to shape our regulatory landscape—is reviewing a pivotal new **climate change case**. This time, the spotlight is firmly on the **Big Oil industry**.

You know the players. These are the conglomerates charging you a premium at the pump to commute to work. They are the entities that have allegedly known for decades that carbon emissions turn the atmosphere into a greenhouse. And now, facing **climate liability lawsuits**, they are crying foul. Why? Because municipalities like **Honolulu** are suing them for damages.

Let’s break this **fossil fuel litigation** down so even the politicians can optimize their understanding. Honolulu is tired of the Pacific Ocean attempting to swallow its infrastructure. City officials looked at the rising tides and intensifying storms and decided it was time for the producers—**Sunoco, Shell, Exxon**, the whole gang—to chip in for repairs. They filed these **climate damages suits** in state courts, the local venues where everyday citizens seek justice.

But the oil companies? They detest that strategy. They refuse to be tried in a local Hawaii court where a jury might look out the window and see the coastline vanishing. That poses too much financial risk. Instead, they have spent years fighting a procedural war to move these cases to **federal court**. Federal jurisdiction is often slower, more expensive, and historically friendlier to corporations wielding armies of high-priced litigators.

Now, the oil barons have filed a petition asking the Supreme Court to intervene regarding **federal preemption**. They want the high court to rule that you cannot sue multinational energy companies in state courts because emissions are a global, federal issue. If the Supreme Court grants certiorari and sides with Big Oil, it effectively crushes these lawsuits—not just in Hawaii, but nationwide. Dozens of cities seeking funds for sea walls and drainage systems would see their cases tossed.

Let’s look at the absurdity here. The scientific consensus on climate change is established. The oil companies’ own internal memos from the 1970s suggest they were aware of the risks. The cities certainly know it as they pay the bills for flood mitigation. Yet, instead of remediation, we are witnessing a high-stakes game of legal tag—a game of "Not It."

The industry argument is the ultimate shrug: "We just sold the gas! It’s not our fault you burned it! Also, federal regulations pre-empt state tort law." They generated billions in profit, acquired yachts and private islands, and now that the bill is due for the infrastructure damage, they are hiding behind procedural motions.

Don't mistake the cities for altruistic heroes, either. While they are fighting the giants, this is largely about revenue. Politicians view **Big Oil settlements** as a massive piggy bank to smash open. If they win, will that capital strictly fund green infrastructure? Doubtful. A significant portion will go to legal fees, and the rest may vanish into the bureaucratic black hole of city budgets, funding "committees" while the streets still flood.

It is the same old song and dance. The Left cheers for the lawsuits as a victory for environmental justice, often ignoring the performative nature of the litigation. The Right screams about economic impact and rising gas prices, defending defenseless multi-national conglomerates. It’s a polarized mess.

The Supreme Court is the final piece of this puzzle. We are waiting for nine unelected officials to decide if a city has the standing to demand compensation for drowning. We aren't voting on this. We are waiting for a ruling on **state vs. federal jurisdiction**. It is dry legal theory that decides the fate of the world.

If the Court sides with oil, the message is clear: Corporate viability trumps environmental consequences. If you are big enough, you change the rules. If the cities win? The lawsuits drag on for another decade, lawyers get richer, and oil companies likely raise prices to cover the settlements. And you? You still pay for the gas, the taxes for flood damage, and the inflation.

The water keeps rising, the heat keeps increasing, and the powers that be are fighting over paperwork. It doesn't matter who wins in court; we have already lost.

***

### References & Fact-Check

* **Original Event**: The US Supreme Court is considering a petition by major oil companies (including Sunoco, Shell, and Exxon) to move climate liability lawsuits from state court to federal court. * **Source Material**: [NY Times: Supreme Court to Weigh Oil-Industry Effort to End a Major Climate Suit](https://www.nytimes.com/2026/02/23/climate/supreme-court-boulder-climate-lawsuit.html) * **Key Legal Concept**: The dispute centers on **Federal Preemption**, where industry lawyers argue that the Clean Air Act and federal common law should override state-level tort claims regarding global greenhouse gas emissions. * **Context**: The City of Honolulu argues that oil companies deceived the public about the dangers of fossil fuels, violating state consumer protection and nuisance laws, a tactic similar to previous litigation against the tobacco industry.

This story is an interpreted work of social commentary based on real events. Source: NY Times

Distribute the Absurdity

Enjoying the Apocalypse?

Journalism is dead, but our server costs are very much alive. Throw a coin to your local cynic to keep the lights on while we watch the world burn.

Tax Deductible? Probably Not.

Comments (0)

Loading comments...