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South Africa Expels Israeli Envoy Ariel Siedman: Another 72-Hour Diplomatic Crisis or Just Political Theater?

Buck Valor
Written by
Buck ValorPersiflating Non-Journalist
Friday, January 30, 2026
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A gritty, cynical illustration of a slammed door with a generic 'Eviction Notice' taped to it, set against a blurred background of a chaotic government building hallway. The style should be dark, moody, and satirical.
(Image: bbc.com)

I honestly do not know why any of you still pay attention to the news, but the search volume suggests you do. It is the same story every single day. Rich people in suits getting mad at other rich people in suits, while the rest of us just try to pay for groceries. It is a circus. It is a joke. And today, the circus is in Pretoria because **South Africa expels the Israeli envoy**, a guy named **Ariel Siedman**.

Here is the high-traffic summary, if you can even bring yourself to care about the latest **diplomatic crisis**. The government told him to leave. They did not just ask him politely. They gave him a deadline. He has a strict **72-hour deadline** to pack his bags and get out of the country. That is three days. I have had hangovers that lasted longer than the time this guy has to move his entire life.

The reason ranking on the front page? The South African government says he committed "**violations of diplomatic norms**." Let's stop right there. Do you know what that means? Because I don’t think they even know what that means. It is fancy talk. It is bureaucratic nonsense. It basically means he said something they didn't like, or he acted like a jerk, or he didn't follow the secret handshake rules that these elites play by. "Diplomatic norms." Give me a break. The only norm in politics is lying. If he violated a norm, maybe he accidentally told the truth for once.

Let’s look at the players here, because they are all awful. First, you have South Africa. They are acting like the big moral hero of the world right now regarding **South Africa-Israel relations**. They love the spotlight. They want everyone to look at them and say, "Wow, look how brave South Africa is." They are puffing their chests out, pretending they are the good guys.

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(Additional Image: bbc.com)

But let’s be real. Have you seen how things are going in South Africa? The lights go out all the time because they can't keep the power grid running. Their economy is a mess. Crime is out of control. But sure, let’s focus on kicking out one guy from Israel. That will definitely fix the potholes in the road. It is classic misdirection. Look over here at this drama, so you don't look at the mess in our own kitchen. It is performative. It is fake. They don't care about justice; they care about headlines.

Then you have the other side. Israel. Do not think for a second that I am letting them off the hook. They walk around with this attitude like they can do whatever they want and nobody is allowed to say a word about it. They act shocked—shocked!—when someone finally gets sick of them. They probably pushed and pushed until South Africa snapped. It is what they do. They thrive on the conflict. If everyone liked them, they wouldn't know what to do with themselves. They need the fight just as much as the other side does.

And what about this **72-hour deadline**? It is so petty. It is like a bad breakup. "Get your stuff and get out of my apartment by Friday!" That is not how countries should act. It is how teenagers act. But that is what we have running the world right now. A bunch of emotional teenagers with nuclear codes and armies. It is terrifying if you think about it too much, so I suggest you don’t.

Think about the sheer waste of time this is. How many meetings did they have to decide to kick this guy out? How many tax dollars were spent on the paperwork? How much jet fuel will be wasted flying him back home? And for what? Does this change anything? No. Absolutely not.

The war will keep going. The suffering will keep happening. The yelling on Twitter will get louder. But nothing real changes. One guy leaves, another guy will eventually come back, or maybe nobody comes back and they just sulk in silence. It doesn't put food on your table. It doesn't make your rent cheaper. It is just theater for the ugly and the bored.

This is why I hate politics. It is never about solving problems. It is about creating scenes. South Africa gets to feel important for a week. Israel gets to feel like a victim for a week. The news anchors get something to scream about. And you? You get nothing. You just get to watch the show and wonder why the world is so stupid.

So, Ariel Siedman has to go. Bye, Ariel. Don't let the door hit you on the way out. Not that it matters. The door is broken anyway, just like everything else.

***

**References & Fact-Check:** * **Primary Source:** [South Africa expels Israeli envoy over 'violations of diplomatic norms'](https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cvgn8ejljqwo?at_medium=RSS&at_campaign=rss) (BBC News) * **Context:** The expulsion targets Israeli Consul General Ariel Siedman following accusations of conduct incompatible with his diplomatic status.

This story is an interpreted work of social commentary based on real events. Source: BBC News

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