Welcome to the latest episode of 'Look at Me, I’m Geopoliticking,' starring Estonia’s Foreign Minister Margus Tsahkna. Tsahkna recently announced that Estonia has 'increased pressure' on Cuba. Let that sink in for a second. We’re talking about a nation with a population roughly the size of a crowded Brooklyn subway station trying to lean on a Caribbean island that’s spent the last sixty years successfully ignoring the most powerful military-industrial complex in human history right next door.

What does 'pressure' from Tallinn actually look like? Are we talking about a temporary ban on Estonian disco exports? A sternly worded PDF sent to an inbox in Havana that hasn’t been checked since the Soviet Union collapsed? No, it’s the usual diplomatic charade. Tsahkna is heading to the EU to propose that everyone else join in on the fun, because nothing says 'global leadership' like picking a fight with a country that poses zero threat to your borders, your economy, or your way of life.

The reality, as always, is far more mundane and desperate. This isn't about Cuba’s human rights record or its political alignment—if it were, we’d see similar 'pressure' applied to half the countries the EU actually does business with. No, this is about Estonia signaling to its bigger, richer siblings in the European Union that it’s a 'team player.' It’s performative morality used as diplomatic currency.

Tsahkna gets to stand at a podium, look grave, and pretend that the fate of the Caribbean rests on the decisions made in a Baltic office building. Meanwhile, back in Havana, the Cuban government is likely wondering if 'Estonia' is a new brand of knock-off cigars. It’s the ultimate irony of modern diplomacy: the smaller the actual influence, the louder the rhetoric. It’s not about changing the world; it’s about making sure your name is spelled correctly in the press release while you audition for a bigger desk in Brussels.