Here we go again. Japan is doing that thing they love to do. They are hitting the reset button. It is like a video game where you keep dying on level one, so you just restart the console over and over hoping the bad guys disappear. They don't disappear. They just change their ties. Prime Minister Sanae Takaichi has decided she has had enough of the people working for her. She dissolved the lower house of Parliament.

"Dissolved" is a cool word. It makes you think of acid vats or magic tricks. It sounds final. It sounds dangerous. But in politics, it just means everyone gets fired for a few weeks and has to beg for their job back. She set the date for February 8. A snap election. Just what everyone wants. A pop quiz on a freezing cold Sunday.

Why do they do this? Why do politicians constantly ask us if we still like them? It is needy. It is pathetic. Imagine if your boss fired the whole office every six months just to make you re-apply for your job. You would quit. You would burn the building down. But in Japan, this is just how they do business. Takaichi wants a "mandate." That is a fancy word for permission. She wants the voters to say, "Yes, you are the boss, please do whatever you want." It is a power grab. It is always about power.

Let’s look at the timing. February 8. Have you ever been outside in February? It is miserable. It is gray. It is cold. This is the perfect time to make millions of people stand in line. It fits the mood perfectly. The Japanese economy is stuck in the mud. Prices are going up. The yen is weak. The population is getting older by the second. There are fewer babies being born than ever before. So, what is the solution? Is it a new economic plan? Is it a way to help families? No. The solution is to force everyone to walk to a local school gym and put a piece of paper in a box.

That will fix it. That will surely make the prices go down. It won't. It never does. But it keeps the politicians busy. It gives them a reason to drive around in vans with loudspeakers screaming their names at you while you are trying to take a nap. They love the noise. They love the attention. They pretend it is about democracy. They pretend it is about "the people's voice." Please. It is about job security for the ruling class.

The Liberal Democratic Party, or LDP, has been in charge of Japan for pretty much the last seventy years. They are like that old couch in your basement that smells like dust and cat pee. You know you should throw it out, but it is heavy, and buying a new one costs money, so you just keep sitting on it. The opposition parties are a joke. They run around screaming, but nobody listens. They are like chihuahuas barking at a tank. Takaichi knows this. She knows she is going to win. Calling a snap election is like challenging a toddler to a wrestling match. You know you are going to win, but you do it anyway so you can feel strong.

The average person in Japan must be so tired. They work long hours. The trains are crowded. The future looks shrinking and expensive. And now they have to deal with this circus. Takaichi is known for being tough. She wants to show everyone who is boss. She is not doing this because the country needs it. She is doing it to lock in her power before things get worse. It is a gamble, but a safe one.

See, the Japanese voters hate chaos. They hate the unknown. The LDP might be useless, they might be corrupt, and they might be boring, but they are familiar. Voting for the other guys is scary. Who knows what they might do? They might change things. And if there is one thing humans hate more than being miserable, it is having to change their routine. So they will line up on February 8. They will shiver in their coats. They will vote for the same people who caused the problems to fix the problems.

Then, on February 9, the sun will rise. The trains will run on time. The salarymen will go to work. The politicians will high-five each other and go back to doing absolutely nothing to help the average person. Takaichi will smile and say she has a mandate. The newspapers will print big headlines. And the slow, steady decline will continue. It is all a show. It is theater for ugly people. And the ticket price is your tax money and your wasted time. Enjoy the election, Japan. I am sure this one will change everything. Just kidding. It won't.