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Jack Smith Wants a Gold Star Before the School Burns Down

Buck Valor
Written by
Buck ValorPersiflating Non-Journalist
Thursday, January 22, 2026
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A cynical illustration in a gritty, flat style. A tired, middle-aged lawyer in a gray suit sits at a desk piled high with mountain-sized stacks of paper. In the background, a chaotic circus parade with elephants and clowns passes by. The lawyer is looking at the viewer with a bored, annoyed expression, holding a single 'Gold Star' sticker.
(Original Image Source: nbcnews.com)
(Video courtesy of NBC News)

Jack Smith is out here trying to save his homework before the big bully takes it away and shreds it. He is busy defending his work. That is a funny word for it. Most people call work something that actually does something. If you fix a sink, the water stays in the pipes. If you bake a cake, people get to eat. But if you are a big shot lawyer like Smith, your work is just a huge pile of paper. He spent years and millions of your tax dollars to tell us things we already knew. And now, he is worried that no one will care. He wants us to know he did a good job. It is like a kid asking for a gold star while the school is on fire.

The news says he is trying to protect the record. He wants to make sure all his findings stay safe. Why? Does he think people are going to read this for fun? Half the country thinks he is a hero who wears a cape under his suit. The other half thinks he is a monster trying to ruin their favorite TV star. Both groups are wrong. He is just a guy in a system that is built to waste time. He is a part of the machine. The machine does not care about you. It only cares about keeping itself running. Smith is worried about his legacy. That is a fancy word for his ego. He wants to look like the smart guy in the room. But in a room full of idiots, being the smartest guy does not mean much.

Then you have the other side. The orange guy and his friends. They hate Smith. They call him names. They act like this is a giant plot to steal the world. It is not that deep. It is just more lawyers fighting more lawyers. The Right is mad because they think the law should only apply to people they don't like. The Left is mad because they think the law is a magic wand that will make the bad man go away forever. Neither side gets it. The law is just a game rich people play to see who gets to keep the most toys. While they fight in court, you are paying for the lights and the heat in the building. You are paying for their coffee. You are paying for the fancy cars they drive to the courthouse.

Smith is defending his work because the clock is ticking. The new boss is coming back to town soon. And the new boss does not like Jack Smith. The new boss is going to take all that work and throw it in the trash. He might even throw it in a shredder and then throw the shredder in a lake. Smith knows this. So he is trying to make sure the world sees his papers before they vanish. He wants to be on the right side of history. But history is written by the people who win. And right now, it does not look like Smith is winning. It looks like he is just packing his bags and trying to look cool while he does it.

We are supposed to care about this. The talking heads on TV tell us this is a big deal for our country. They say the rule of law is at stake. They use big words to make it sound like something holy. It is not holy. It is a business. Smith is an employee. He did a project. Now he is handing in his final report. If you did this at a normal job, and your new manager told you they were going to delete your files, you would just go home and watch Netflix. But because this is politics, we have to pretend it is a drama. We have to treat every court filing like it is a message from God.

It is all so boring. We have been watching this same show for years. The same actors. The same lines. The same ending where nothing really changes for the people at the bottom. Smith will go back to some law firm and make millions. The orange guy will go back to the white house and make noise. And the rest of us will still be here, wondering why everything costs so much and why the roads have so many holes. The system is not broken. It is working exactly how they want it to. It keeps us busy watching them fight so we don't notice they are all on the same team. The team that wins no matter what.

So, go ahead, Jack. Save your papers. Put them in a nice folder. Maybe get them bound in leather. It won't change a thing. The people who love your target will still love him. The people who hate him will still hate him. And the rest of us? We are just tired. We are tired of the lawyers, the politicians, and the whole circus. We don't want a report. We don't want a defense of your work. We want you all to go away and let us live our lives. But that won't happen. There is too much money to be made in the fighting. There are too many books to sell. So, we will keep watching the fire, and you can keep bringing us more paper to burn.

This story is an interpreted work of social commentary based on real events. Source: NBC News

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