So, Heathrow airport finally did it. They spent one billion pounds to let you keep your water bottle. A billion. Think about that number for a second. That is a one with nine zeros after it. All that cash just so you do not have to throw away your expensive face cream because it is 110 milliliters instead of 100. It is the most expensive way to say 'sorry we were wrong' in the history of the world. Since 2006, we have all been playing this stupid game. We stood in lines like sheep. We put our little soaps in tiny plastic bags. We felt like criminals for having a bottle of Coke. We all knew it was a joke. The people in charge knew it was a joke. But we did it anyway because we are well-trained cattle.

Now, the bosses at the UK’s biggest airport say they have the tech to fix the problem they made up. These new CT scanners are like the machines in a hospital. They see everything. They see through your bag. They see through your shoes. They probably see through your soul, if you still have one after waiting three hours in a security line. They say we can bring two liters of liquid now. Two liters! You could bring enough soda to rot every tooth in your head. You can keep your laptop in your bag too. This is what they call progress in the 21st century. We spent twenty years making people take off their belts and shoes, and now we spend a billion pounds to stop doing it. It is a perfect cycle of human stupidity.

Who gets that billion pounds? It is not you. It is the tech companies. It is the people who build these giant, glowing boxes that scan our stuff. It is a giant grift. The government loves it because it looks like they are doing something. The airport loves it because it gets you through the line faster. Why do they want you through the line faster? Is it because they care about your time? No. They want you in the duty-free shop. They want you buying a fifty-dollar bottle of perfume or a giant bar of chocolate you do not need. The faster you get through security, the faster you can start spending money. That is the only reason this 'upgrade' exists. It is not about freedom. It is about moving the herd to the cash register.

Let’s look at the history of this liquid ban. It started because some guys had a plan that didn't even work. For twenty years, the world pretended that three ounces of liquid was safe, but four ounces would blow up a plane. It was 'security theater.' It was a play put on for the public to make us feel safe while they took our rights away bit by bit. The Left sat there and said it was for the common good. The Right sat there and said it was for national security. They both lied. They both just liked the control. And we all just took it. We bought those tiny little travel-sized bottles. We paid five dollars for a bottle of water on the other side of the gate. We were the marks in a global con game.

Now they say the 'tyranny' is over. That is a big word for an airport to use. Tyranny is usually about kings and dictators. Here, it was about shampoo. But that is how low we have sunk. We think being allowed to carry a normal-sized bottle of sunscreen is a win for human rights. It is pathetic. The scanners are coming to airports everywhere, slowly. Heathrow is just the first big one to make a big deal out of it. They want a gold star for stopping a rule that they helped enforce for two decades. It is like a bully stopping his punching and then asking for a thank-you note.

And let us not forget the 'Davos' crowd mentioned in the news. The elites. The people who fly on private jets. They never had to worry about 100ml limits. They do not stand in these lines. They do not take off their shoes for a guy with a badge and a bad attitude. This news is for the rest of us. The people packed into middle seats. The people eating cold sandwiches in the terminal. We are supposed to be happy that our cage is now slightly more high-tech. We are still being tracked. We are still being scanned. We are still being treated like bags of meat with credit cards. But hey, at least you can bring your own water now. Congratulations, humanity. You finally bought your way out of a problem that never should have existed in the first place. Don't spend that billion pounds all in one place.