Spanish Investigators Shine Bright Light In Face Of Train Track Demanding To Know What It Saw


CÓRDOBA—In an exhaustive effort to determine the cause of the fatal crash that claimed 41 lives this week, Spanish authorities confirmed Tuesday that they have taken a 50-meter section of steel rail into police custody and are currently subjecting it to "enhanced interrogation techniques." Sources close to the investigation report that lead detectives have spent the last 24 hours pacing around the twisted metal in a windowless room, demanding it stop protecting the gravel and come clean about its involvement. "We know you were there, and we know you looked warped," Chief Inspector Alvaro Mendez reportedly shouted while slamming a dossier of schematics onto the table, inches from the silent, inanimate beam. "You think because you’re made of galvanized steel you’re above the law? Start talking, or so help me God, we will melt you down into paperclips." At press time, investigators were growing frustrated by the track’s stony silence and were preparing to bring in a wooden sleeper tie to see if they could get it to flip on its partner.
This story is an interpreted work of social commentary based on real events. Source: NY Times