The United Nations, that hallowed cathedral of taxpayer-funded uselessness, has finally reached its logical conclusion: an eviction notice from a man who specializes in putting his name on things that eventually go bankrupt. According to Belgian Foreign Minister Maxime Prévot, US President Donald Trump is attempting to replace the UN with something called the 'Board of Peace.' The news, delivered via Euronews with the kind of breathless alarm usually reserved for actual catastrophes, suggests that the international community is terrified that their favorite talk-shop is about to be turned into a transitional real-estate venture. It is the ultimate showdown between two forms of failure: the bloated, multi-lateral paralysis of the old world and the loud, transactional narcissism of the new one.

Let’s be honest—the UN has been a corpse for decades. It is a collection of beige offices where diplomats from around the world gather to express 'deep concern' while the world burns in HD. It is a theater of the absurd where the Security Council functions as a high-stakes game of 'No, You,' and where human rights commissions are frequently chaired by regimes that view basic liberties as a clerical error. Prévot’s horror is not for the loss of global stability—since there is none—but for the loss of the decorum that masks our collective descent into the abyss. He is a man watching a museum of obsolescence get replaced by a pop-up shop, and he is offended by the lack of curation.

The 'Board of Peace' is a title so devoid of irony it could only have been conceived by someone who views geopolitics as a season of reality television. We are told it is 'transitional.' This is a classic euphemism. Everything is transitional when you don’t have a plan. It’s the political equivalent of 'coming soon' signage on a construction site that will eventually just be a parking lot. The Board implies a corporate structure where peace isn’t a human right, but a quarterly dividend to be distributed among those who have the best 'deals.' It is the final stage of the commodification of existence, where war and peace are simply line items on a balance sheet managed by a small circle of sycophants who likely couldn't find Belgium on a map if it was highlighted in neon.

The Left will, of course, treat this as the end of the world. They will write op-eds in the legacy press about the 'shattering of norms' and the 'collapse of the international order.' They fail to realize that the 'order' they are mourning was a fantasy—a polite fiction maintained so that people in silk ties could feel superior to the carnage they were failing to prevent. They want the UN because it provides a veneer of intellectualism to their total lack of agency. To them, a 'Board' is too vulgar, too honest in its greed. They prefer their grift wrapped in the blue flag of humanitarianism, even as that flag is used to cover up the latest scandal or inaction.

The Right, on the other hand, will celebrate this as a triumph of 'America First' common sense. They believe that by replacing a global bureaucracy with a localized one, they have somehow escaped the system. They haven't. They’ve just traded a slow-moving virus for a fast-acting parasite. Replacing the UN with a 'Board of Peace' doesn't eliminate globalism; it just makes it more exclusive. It’s the same elite game, just played in a room with better lighting and fewer French speakers. They are cheering for a rebranding of the same incompetence they claim to hate, simply because the new brand has a more aggressive font.

Historically, this is all very predictable. The League of Nations died because it was a toothless joke; the UN is dying because it is a toothless bore. Humanity has a compulsive need to build massive, ornate structures to hide the fact that we are essentially clever primates with nuclear weapons and a penchant for self-destruction. Whether the structure is called a 'General Assembly' or a 'Board of Peace' is irrelevant. The result is always the same: a small group of people deciding which tragedies are worth their time while the rest of the planet suffers the consequences of their boredom.

Prévot’s alarm is the death rattle of a specific kind of European sensibility—the belief that if we just talk long enough, reality will eventually conform to our committees. Trump’s 'Board' is the rebuttal—the belief that if we just sell enough, reality will eventually conform to our wallets. Both are delusions. The truth is that the world is a chaotic, unmanageable mess that no amount of 'transitional' boards or 'united' nations can fix. We are simply switching out the captain of the Titanic while the iceberg is already halfway through the hull. So, let the Board of Peace begin its work. Let it transition us from the era of polite failure to the era of loud, profitable failure. At least the headlines will be easier to read as we sink.