DAVOS, SWITZERLAND—In a stunning display of environmental stewardship and self-sacrifice, the world’s financial elite gathered at the World Economic Forum today to announce a groundbreaking initiative to combat climate change by agreeing to fly their private jets wingtip-to-wingtip in order to reduce wind drag.

'The climate crisis is here, and it requires bold action, which is why I waited on the tarmac for a whole six minutes for the CEO of Shell to arrive so we could take off in a synchronized V-formation,' said tech billionaire Marcus Thorne, shouting over the roar of 1,500 simultaneous turbine engines idling on the frozen runway. 'By coordinating our arrival, we estimate we have saved nearly three gallons of jet fuel, which grants us the moral authority to tell a family in Bangladesh that they really need to stop cooking with wood.'

At press time, the attendees had further committed to the green cause by passing a resolution to replace the plastic swizzle sticks in their in-flight bloody marys with ones made from recycled ivory.