I watched the reports coming out of Munich this week. It is a sad sight. A bunch of people in very expensive suits are standing around drinking champagne and shaking in their boots. They are scared. They are confused. And they are realizing that the party is finally over.

The headline is that European leaders are talking about “de-risking” from the United States. They say this is because of Donald Trump and his “unpredictability.” That is the polite way of saying it. That is the diplomat way of saying it. If you strip away the fancy words and the fake smiles, what they are really saying is this: “Dad is crazy, and he might cut off our allowance.”

Let’s be real about what is happening here. For about eighty years, Europe has been living a fantasy life. They got to play pretend. They built nice societies with free doctors and six weeks of vacation. They sat around in cafes discussing art and philosophy. They felt superior to the United States. They looked down on us. They thought we were loud, dumb cowboys with too many guns and not enough manners.

But who paid for their safety? Who stood at the gate and kept the wolves away? We did. The loud, dumb cowboys. America paid the bills for Europe’s defense. We provided the muscle. We let them stay soft and rich because it made us feel important. It was a trade. We got to be the boss, and they got a free ride.

Now, the bill is due. And Europe is tapping its pockets pretending they forgot their wallet.

The term “de-risking” is hilarious. It is corporate speak. It is the kind of word you use when you are about to get fired but you want to make it sound like it was your idea. They aren’t de-risking. They are being dumped. They see Trump, and they see a man who does not care about their old clubs and their secret handshakes. Trump looks at a deal and asks, “What do I get out of this?” Europe doesn’t have an answer. They are used to getting things for free just because they exist.

They call it “unpredictability.” Politicians hate that word. They love boring. They love knowing exactly what is going to happen tomorrow. They want the check to clear and the treaties to stay the same. Trump is chaos. He wakes up and changes the rules before breakfast. This terrifies the bureaucrats in Munich. They don’t know how to handle a world where the rules don’t matter.

So now they say they need to pull away from the U.S. They want to stand on their own two feet. It is a nice thought. But have you seen them? They have no muscle left. They let their armies rot. They let their industries depend on other people. They are like a forty-year-old man who still lives in his parents' basement, suddenly realizing his parents are selling the house. Panic sets in. They talk big about independence, but they are shaking.

And look at us. Look at America. We are the risk. That is the funniest part. The Europeans are looking at the United States—the country that saved them twice—and deciding we are too dangerous to be around. And they aren’t wrong. We are a mess. We are fighting with ourselves. We are angry, broke, and tired. We don't want to be the world's policeman anymore. We don't want to pay for their protection while our own bridges fall down. The Right thinks Europe is a leech. The Left thinks Europe is a problem. Nobody in America cares about Munich anymore.

This “de-risking” talk is just a coping mechanism. It is a lie they tell themselves so they can sleep at night. They can’t de-risk from us. They are addicted to us. Every piece of their economy and security is tied to the American machine. If we walk away, they collapse. If we stay but act crazy, they suffer.

So they hold their meetings. They give their speeches. They use big words to sound smart. But the smell of fear in Munich is stronger than the beer. They know the truth. The long vacation is over. The American credit card is declined. The world is getting meaner, and Europe is realizing they forgot how to fight. It’s pathetic to watch, but it’s also satisfying. Welcome to the real world, Europe. It sucks out here.