Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen is back on the soapbox, and she’s brought the heavy artillery: the word 'blackmail.' It’s the favorite vocabulary word of any leader trying to turn a property dispute into a Bond movie. According to Mette, Denmark isn’t just holding onto a massive, melting slab of the Arctic; they’re defending the very soul of Europe.

Let’s look at the 'support' she’s so thrilled about. When a group of powerful nations gathers around a smaller one to offer 'support' over a resource-rich territory, it’s not a hug—it’s a huddle. They’re not there to protect Danish feelings; they’re there to make sure that when the permafrost finally gives way to reveal those sweet, sweet rare earth minerals, they’re the ones holding the shovels.

The PR spin here is magnificent. By framing Greenland as an 'issue that reaches far beyond our own borders,' Frederiksen is effectively inviting everyone to the party while pretending she’s just guarding the door. It’s the geopolitical equivalent of a homeowner claiming their backyard pool is actually a 'regional aquatic heritage site' the moment the neighbors start asking to use it.

We’re told Europe won’t be blackmailed. It’s a brave sentiment, usually reserved for situations where someone is actually being threatened, rather than just being asked to sell something they don't want to lose control of. The 'blackmailers' in question—take your pick of the usual suspects—are simply playing the same game Denmark is: looking at a map, seeing the ice retreat, and smelling profit.

But in the world of high-stakes diplomatic theater, you can't just say, 'We want to keep the mining rights for ourselves.' You have to talk about 'sovereignty,' 'allies,' and 'standing firm.' It’s a beautiful performance, really. Denmark gets to play the principled underdog, the allies get to look like protectors of democracy, and meanwhile, the planet keeps warming, the ice keeps thinning, and the vultures keep circling. Just another Tuesday in the Arctic, where the only thing colder than the wind is the calculated self-interest of everyone involved.