CARACAS—In a heartwarming conclusion to what the state has officially categorized as an extended, mandatory editorial residency, journalist Ángel Godoy returned home Monday after successfully revising his opinions on the Maduro regime. Government officials praised Godoy’s transformation, noting that his previous columns suffered from 'severe stylistic errors,' such as the unauthorized use of the word 'famine' and a lack of adjectives describing the President as 'luminescent.'

'We are thrilled that Ángel has finally graduated from our immersive creative writing workshop at El Helicoide,' said a prison spokesperson, noting that the journalist was given a quiet, windowless room for 2,000 days to really focus on finding his voice. 'At first, his drafts were still cluttered with anti-revolutionary sentiment, but after a few years of intensive feedback involving a car battery and a wet towel, his prose really began to sing the praises of the Bolivarian Revolution.'

At press time, Godoy’s family reported they were trying to make up for lost time by sitting together in the living room while Godoy nervously applauded a televised speech of Nicolás Maduro for four consecutive hours.