Oh, look. Another headline about the ‘electric revolution’ that promises to save the world by replacing one form of extractive environmental pillage with another, slightly quieter version. The latest dispatch from the frontlines of our collective delusion informs us that Chinese EV makers—specifically the likes of BYD and the delightfully named Leapmotor—are feeling a ‘renewed vigor.’ In the lexicon of corporate sociopathy, ‘renewed vigor’ is what happens when your domestic market becomes a saturated wasteland of overproduced metal and you realize the only way to keep the ponzi scheme of perpetual growth alive is to dump your surplus on the guilt-ridden rubes of the West. It is the industrial equivalent of a shark realizing it has run out of seals in one bay and deciding to see if the swimmers in the next one over are feeling particularly ‘welcoming.’

And apparently, the Europeans are practically laying out the red carpet. The report claims the ‘overseas outlook’ for these companies is improving because Europe is ‘leveling the playing field.’ In any other context, ‘leveling the playing field’ is a euphemism for a race to the bottom, but here it suggests that the European Union has reached a state of such terminal economic masochism that it is willing to let its own legacy automakers be slowly strangled by subsidized Chinese imports in the name of a ‘green’ future. It’s a touching display of continental suicide, really. The European market is described as ‘buoyant,’ which is a lovely way of saying it’s a bubble filled with the hot air of performative environmentalism.

The reality, which the press treats with the kind of sanitized reverence usually reserved for royal funerals, is that the Chinese domestic market is slowing. They’ve built too many cars, the subsidies are drying up, and the Chinese consumer—shockingly—has a limit to how many surveillance-equipped rolling batteries they can park in a single high-rise garage. So, the surplus must flow. Enter the ‘welcoming attitude’ of the West. It’s a match made in a very specific circle of hell: China needs to export its economic indigestion, and European politicians need to pretend they’re saving the biosphere while their actual manufacturing base dissolves like a sugar cube in a cup of lukewarm oolong.

Let’s talk about the phrase ‘hone their international image.’ This is the industry’s way of saying they need to make people forget that the batteries are being mined by children in the DRC and processed in facilities powered by the very coal these cars are supposedly making obsolete. By moving into Europe, BYD and Leapmotor aren't just selling cars; they’re selling a narrative of global sophistication. They want to be seen as ‘international players’ rather than just the domestic dumpsters for state-directed industrial policy. And why wouldn't they? If you can convince a Parisian to buy a car named ‘Leapmotor’ without laughing, you’ve basically mastered the art of the grift.

History will look back on this era as the Great Lithium Swap. We are watching the transition from a world powered by the greed of oil barons to one powered by the greed of battery magnates, and we’re being told to cheer because the new masters use better hashtags. The ‘level playing field’ is just the flat surface of the cliff we’re all driving over. The Right will scream about ‘national security’ while quietly taking board seats at the same companies they denounce, and the Left will celebrate the ‘decarbonization’ of the suburbs while ignoring the ecological apocalypse required to dig up the ingredients for a 5,000-pound electric SUV that mostly sits in traffic on the way to a SoulCycle class.

The analysts are giddy. They see ‘growth.’ They see ‘expansion.’ I see a frantic, desperate churn of capital trying to outrun its own inherent instability. Chinese assemblers aren't stepping up their global expansion out of a desire to innovate; they’re doing it because the walls are closing in at home. It’s not vigor; it’s a death rattle with a better PR firm. But please, by all means, let’s celebrate this ‘positive stance.’ Let’s welcome the influx of shiny new toys. After all, if we’re going to watch the world burn, we might as well do it from the leather-appointed interior of a vehicle that reminds us, via a 15-inch touchscreen, that we are very, very good people for choosing the electric option.