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Congress Ties Its Own Shoes Together While the War Machine Keeps Rolling

Buck Valor
Written by
Buck ValorPersiflating Non-Journalist
Thursday, January 22, 2026
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A hyper-realistic, gritty satirical illustration of the US House of Representatives chamber. The room is chaotic and dimly lit. In the center, a large wooden gavel is split in half, resting on a podium that is crumbling. Politicians in suits are arguing, some are sleeping, and others are looking at their phones, ignoring the broken gavel. In the background, a large digital scoreboard shows a tied score of '0-0' with the word 'FAIL' blinking in red. The atmosphere is dusty and cynical.
(Original Image Source: theguardian.com)

You would think that the one thing the people in charge of our country could do is count. Just count the votes. One, two, three. But apparently, math is just as hard for them as basic morality. The House of Representatives just tried to do something that sounds pretty simple on paper. They tried to tell the President that he cannot just send our troops to Venezuela whenever he feels like it. It was a simple question: Should we let one guy start a war, or should we maybe talk about it first? And guess what happened? They tied.

It wasn't a win. It wasn't a loss in the normal sense where one side clearly stomps the other. It was a failure of the entire system. The vote fell short of a majority. In the real world, when you try to stop something bad from happening and you fail, the bad thing usually happens. That is where we are right now. The big fancy resolution that would have put a leash on Donald Trump’s military ambitions didn't pass. It just sat there, dead in the water, because the people we pay to run the government are incapable of making a decision.

Let’s look at Mike Johnson. He is supposed to be the Speaker of the House. That title used to mean something. It used to mean you had power. It used to mean you could herd the cats and get things done. But right now, Mike Johnson looks less like a powerful leader and more like a substitute teacher who lost control of the classroom twenty minutes ago. He is holding a gavel, but nobody is listening. The fact that this vote was a tie shows just how weak his grip is. He has a majority in name only. He can't whip the votes. He can't control his own team. He is just standing there while the room burns down around him.

And don't think the other side is any better. The people who wanted this resolution to pass—the ones who claim they want to stop endless wars—they couldn't get the job done either. They couldn't convince enough people that maybe, just maybe, invading another country in South America is a bad idea. They talk a big game about peace and checks and balances. They go on TV and make sad faces. But when it came time to actually push the button and stop the madness, they didn't have the numbers. It is all performance. It is all just noise.

So now we have a situation where the President has a green light by default. Trump doesn't need Congress to tell him 'yes.' He just needs them to fail to say 'no.' And failing is the one thing this Congress is actually good at. They are world champions at failing. Trump is probably sitting somewhere laughing. He didn't even have to fight for this. The House fought itself, and the result was a pathetic draw that changes absolutely nothing. The troops can go. The orders can be signed. And the people in the big building with the dome will just shrug and say, 'Well, we almost stopped it.'

This isn't just a House problem, either. The Senate is just as messy. Last week, they had a vote on a similar idea. That one was tied too. It was deadlocked until JD Vance stepped in to break the tie. Think about that. The only reason we have any direction at all is because one guy tipped the scale at the last second. The entire legislative branch of the United States government is hanging by a thread. It is split right down the middle, paralyzed by its own stupidity.

Why does this matter to you? It matters because while these people are playing games with vote counts, real things are happening. Venezuela is a real place. Sending troops is a real action. It costs money. It risks lives. It changes the world. And the decision on whether or not to do it is being treated like a coin flip. It is reckless. It shows that nobody in Washington actually cares about the outcome. They only care about the political scoreboard.

The Republicans are scared to look weak, so they won't stop Trump. The Democrats are too disorganized to stop him. And the leadership is nonexistent. We are drifting toward conflict not because the American people want it, and not because it is a good strategic move. We are drifting toward it because the brakes on the bus are broken and the driver is asleep at the wheel.

History is going to look back at this and laugh. They will see a government that was so divided, so petty, and so incompetent that it couldn't even decide if it wanted to go to war or not. So it just did nothing. And in politics, doing nothing is a choice. It is the choice to let the chaos win. Mike Johnson can't lead. The House can't vote. And the rest of us are just stuck here watching the train wreck in slow motion.

This story is an interpreted work of social commentary based on real events. Source: The Guardian

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