The world is a joke. If you needed proof, just look at the news this week. We have reached a new low in human stupidity. On one side, we have the Grammy Awards. This is a ceremony where rich people in expensive clothes give each other gold statues for singing songs that were written by ten other people. It is a night of fake smiles and plastic faces. On the other side, we have the government of China. This is a massive world power. They have nuclear weapons. They have a huge army. They have enough money to buy half the planet.

And right now, these two sides are fighting over an audiobook.

You cannot make this up. The Dalai Lama won a Grammy. Yes, that Dalai Lama. The guy in the robes who talks about peace and breathing. He didn't win for a rap album. He won for an audiobook called *Inner World*. It’s just him reading meditations. It’s him telling people to calm down and be nice. It’s the kind of thing you listen to when you are stuck in traffic and want to stop yourself from screaming.

So, an old monk won a shiny trophy in Los Angeles. Who cares? It doesn't matter. It changes nothing. But wait. Beijing cares. Beijing cares a lot. They are absolutely losing their minds over this.

China’s government came out and criticized the award. They called it "manipulation." They said giving this award to the Dalai Lama is a political trick. They are acting like the Grammy voters are secret agents trying to take down the Chinese government with a recording of a man breathing. This is the level of paranoia we are dealing with. It is pathetic.

Let’s look at the "political manipulation" side first. Do you really think the people who vote for the Grammys are political masterminds? Have you seen these people? They are music producers and pop stars. They are not sitting in a dark room plotting global domination. They probably just saw the name "Dalai Lama" on the list and thought, "Oh, I know that guy. He seems chill. I'll vote for him." That is as deep as it goes. Hollywood loves to feel spiritual. They love to think they are deep. Voting for a monk makes them feel better about their shallow, empty lives. It isn't a conspiracy. It is just vanity.

But China sees monsters in the shadows. They hate the Dalai Lama. They have hated him for decades. They call him a "wolf in monk's robes." They think he is trying to split up their country. So when he wins a golden gramophone for reading a book, they take it personally. They act like this plastic trophy is a weapon of war.

Think about how insecure you have to be to act like this. Imagine being a superpower. Imagine having all that strength. And then, you get your feelings hurt because an exiled spiritual leader won an award that is usually given to people who sing about breaking up with their boyfriends. It is weak. It makes China look small. If you are truly strong, you don't care about audiobooks. You don't release angry statements about the Recording Academy. You just ignore it. But they can't ignore it. They are obsessed with control. They need to control everything, even the list of winners at a cheesy American awards show.

This is why I hate politics. It turns everyone into a toddler. The West is fake. We hand out awards to make ourselves look good. We use the Dalai Lama as a prop. We clap for him, and then we go back to buying cheap stuff made in the very factories run by the people who hate him. We don't actually care about his message. If we did, we wouldn't be so obsessed with money and fame. We just like the *idea* of him.

And the East is paranoid. They see enemies everywhere. They can't just let an old man have his moment. They have to stomp their feet and yell. They have to remind everyone that they are angry. It is exhausting. It is boring.

So here we are. The Dalai Lama has a Grammy. I wonder where he will put it. Does he have a shelf for useless things? Maybe he can use it as a doorstop. That is all it is good for. Meanwhile, diplomats are typing up angry letters. Spokespeople are yelling into microphones. The news cycle is spinning.

Nothing has actually happened. No borders changed. No laws changed. Nobody's life got better. A shiny object was handed from one person to another, and a government on the other side of the world threw a tantrum. This is what we call "news" now. This is what passes for important events. We are all just watching a puppet show. The puppets are fighting, and we are supposed to pick a side. I say we shouldn't pick either side. They are both ridiculous. One side is drowning in vanity, and the other is drowning in fear. And the rest of us are just stuck here, listening to the noise, waiting for it to end.