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The Arsonists’ Guild: Netanyahu and Trump Launch the ‘Board of Peace’ to Extinguish the World in Irony

Buck Valor
Written by
Buck ValorPersiflating Non-Journalist
Wednesday, January 21, 2026
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A hyper-realistic, satirical digital painting of Donald Trump and Benjamin Netanyahu sitting at a massive, gold-plated conference table in a darkened, smoke-filled room. On the table is a map of the world being used as a coaster for expensive whiskey. The words 'Board of Peace' are written in flickering, tacky neon lights behind them. The lighting is dramatic and oppressive, highlighting their weary, cynical, and self-important expressions as they ignore the world map in front of them.

In a world increasingly indistinguishable from a fever dream scripted by a lobotomized PR intern, we find ourselves confronted with the latest installment of 'The Geopolitical Grift.' Benjamin Netanyahu, a man whose relationship with 'peace' is roughly equivalent to a shark’s relationship with veganism, has officially accepted an invitation to join Donald Trump’s 'Board of Peace.' It is a development so profoundly absurd that it borders on the transcendental, a moment where reality finally gives up the ghost and admits it was just a dark comedy all along. The 'Board,' which was originally marketed as a boutique committee focused on the Gaza ceasefire—a situation that has been handled with the delicate grace of a bulldozer in a porcelain shop—has now undergone the inevitable brand expansion. It is now tasked with solving global conflicts at large, because why limit your incompetence to a single region when you can offer your particular brand of 'solution' to the entire screaming planet?

Let us contemplate the optics of this 'Board of Peace.' We have Donald Trump, the man who treats diplomacy like a transactional episode of a reality show, teaming up with Benjamin Netanyahu, a politician who has perfected the art of perpetual survival through perpetual crisis. Together, they represent the pinnacle of narcissistic synergy. The very name, 'Board of Peace,' sounds like something conjured up during a mid-morning slump at a failing branding agency. It implies a corporate hierarchy for human harmony, a boardroom where the dividends are paid out in photo ops and the losses are measured in the lives of people who live thousands of miles away from the nearest golf course or gold-plated office. It is 'Peace' as a commodity, a trademarked product intended to be sold to a gullible public that still believes these figures are motivated by anything other than their own legal and political preservation.

Netanyahu’s acceptance of this invitation is a masterstroke of cynical pragmatism. Facing a domestic audience that is increasingly tired of his high-wire act and an international community that views him with the same warmth one might reserve for a recurring rash, Netanyahu has found the perfect lifeboat. By joining Trump’s board, he isn’t looking for a ceasefire; he is looking for a clubhouse. It provides him with a veneer of statesman-like gravitas while he continues to navigate the labyrinth of his own making. The move highlights the performative nature of modern power. It doesn’t matter if the board actually does anything—and let’s be clear, it won't—it only matters that it exists as a headline. It is the diplomatic equivalent of a 'Thoughts and Prayers' tweet, but with a much higher security budget and better catering.

The expansion of the board’s scope from Gaza to 'global conflicts broadly' is the most telling part of the entire charade. It is a classic move in the grifter’s playbook: when you fail to deliver on a specific promise, simply broaden the promise until it becomes unfalsifiable. If you can't solve the immediate, bloody disaster in the Middle East, just claim you are working on the architectural blueprints for a global utopia. By making the mandate universal, they ensure that any metric of success is entirely subjective. They aren’t just failing to fix one thing; they are now heroically tackling everything. It is a staggering display of hubris, the kind that historically precedes a spectacular collapse, yet we are forced to watch it play out in real-time, narrated by talking heads who treat this theater as if it were actual news.

From a historical perspective, the 'Board of Peace' is a grotesque parody of every failed international assembly that came before it. It lacks the earnest, albeit doomed, idealism of the League of Nations and the bureaucratic inertia of the UN. Instead, it offers a raw, unfiltered vision of the future of governance: a small circle of aging men, bonded by their mutual disdain for the rules they expect everyone else to follow, declaring themselves the arbiters of tranquility. It is the privatization of peace, handled by two individuals who have spent their entire careers proving that conflict is the most profitable currency in their respective markets. To expect this duo to bring about an end to violence is like expecting a pair of professional pyromaniacs to lead a seminar on forest fire prevention. They aren't there to put out the fire; they’re there to discuss the aesthetics of the embers.

Ultimately, this is what we deserve. We have allowed our political discourse to be reduced to a series of branding exercises and personality cults. We have traded substantive policy for the dopamine hit of a provocative headline. The 'Board of Peace' is the logical conclusion of a society that values the spectacle of the deal more than the reality of the outcome. As Netanyahu and Trump sit down to 'solve' the world’s problems, the rest of us are left to marvel at the sheer, unadulterated gall of it all. It is a bored, annoying, and utterly predictable end to the idea of genuine diplomacy. We aren’t watching the dawn of a new era of harmony; we are watching the closing credits of a civilization that has finally run out of original ideas and is now just recycling its most toxic characters for one last, desperate season.

This story is an interpreted work of social commentary based on real events. Source: EuroNews

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