There is a special kind of comedy that only happens in the Swiss Alps. It is the comedy of very serious people in very expensive suits telling jokes that they don’t realize are jokes. The latest performer in this theater of the absurd is the Canadian leadership class, fresh from the World Economic Forum. They have returned with a bold, brave, and completely delusional message: Canada does not need the United States to survive.

Mark Carney, a man who has spent his life moving money around for banks, stood up and said it firmly. He declared that Canada “doesn’t live because of the United States.” It was a moment of pure, unadulterated pride. It was also, if we are being honest, a moment of profound denial. It is like a teenager living in their parents' basement, eating their parents' food, and using their parents' Wi-Fi, suddenly shouting that they are a strong, independent adult because they bought their own socks once.

The context of this outburst is important. The global elite are currently terrified. They are worried about the return of Donald Trump and the "America First" attitude. So, the Canadian leadership has come up with a plan. It is a plan that sounds like the plot of a very low-budget superhero movie. They want the "middle powers" of the world to team up. They want to form a league of nice, polite countries to resist the big, bad chaos coming from their neighbor downstairs.

Let’s look at this phrase: "Middle Powers." It is such a polite way of saying "countries that matter, but not enough to actually change anything." The idea is that if Canada holds hands with a few other nations, they can form a human chain strong enough to stop the American elephant from walking wherever it wants. It is a sweet thought. It is cute. But in the cold, hard world of reality, it is meaningless.

To say that Canada doesn’t "live" because of the United States is to ignore the map. It is to ignore the math. Canada is a vast, beautiful country with a lot of trees and water, but its economy is glued to America. The United States buys the oil. The United States buys the cars. The United States buys the wood. If the American economy sneezes, Canada gets the flu. If the American economy decides to close the door, Canada doesn’t just get a cold; it catches pneumonia and ends up in the hospital.

Yet, the people in charge love to pretend this isn’t true. They go to these fancy parties in Davos, Switzerland. They drink champagne with other worried leaders. They pat each other on the back and say, "We are the good guys. We follow the rules." They convince themselves that virtue is a currency. They think that being "right" is the same thing as being powerful. It is not. In the history of the world, being nice has never stopped a tank, and it has certainly never stopped a trade war.

There is a deep irony in urging "middle powers" to unite against the United States while relying on the United States for protection. Who guards the oceans that Canadian goods travel on? The U.S. Navy. Who provides the nuclear umbrella that keeps the nightmares away? The U.S. military. Canada has spent decades spending very little on its own defense because it knows Big Brother is next door with a baseball bat. To turn around and insult the bodyguard is a bold strategy.

This is the tragedy of modern politics. Leaders like those in Canada are selling a fantasy to their people. They are telling Canadians that they can disconnect from the American reality. They are selling the idea that Canada can float away on a cloud of good intentions. It makes people feel good for a moment. It makes them feel superior to the messy, loud politics of the Americans.

But feelings do not pay the bills. When the speeches are over and the private jets fly back from Switzerland, the geography hasn’t changed. Canada is still right there, attached to the hip of the global superpower. Carney’s tough talk is just noise. It is sound and fury signifying nothing. It is a desperate attempt to look in control when everyone knows the steering wheel is actually in Washington.

So, we watch the show. We clap politely. We let them have their moment of defiance. But deep down, we know the truth. The mouse can roar all it wants, but it still lives in the lion’s den. And no amount of meetings in the Swiss snow will ever change that.