PALM BEACH, FL—Calling the original global peacekeeping body a “low-energy disaster with terrible ratings,” President-elect Donald Trump announced the formation of the “Gaza Board of Peace” Tuesday, a flagship initiative of his newly founded rival organization, the United Nations Pro Max.

“For too long, the so-called United Nations has bored the world with talk, talk, talk and no action—very sad, very unfair to the viewers,” said Trump, unveiling a gold-plated logo for the new geopolitical body which depicts the globe wearing a MAGA hat. “We are launching a premium, invite-only Peace Board. It’s going to be huge. We’ve already sent invites to the best countries. The classy countries. If you didn’t get an invite, honestly, you should be embarrassed. You’re in the cheap seats.”

Trump confirmed that unlike the “woke” UN Security Council, the new Board of Peace would operate on a subscription-based model, where member nations can purchase “Veto Power+” bundles and unlock exclusive zoning rights for beachfront condos in conflict zones.

At press time, the President-elect was seen revoking France’s membership after they refused to pay the mandatory 20% gratuity fee on a peace treaty.