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Alex Honnold Taipei 101 Climb Delayed: Rain Defeats 'Free Solo' Star (Satire)

Buck Valor
Written by
Buck ValorPersiflating Non-Journalist
Saturday, January 24, 2026
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A very tall, modern skyscraper in Taipei looking like a stack of boxes, viewed from the bottom looking up, covered in rain and mist. A tiny, insignificant figure of a man in climbing gear stands at the bottom looking up, frustrated. Dark, moody, cinematic lighting, photorealistic style.
(Original Image Source: bbc.com)

So, here we are again. We are gathered around our screens to watch the **Alex Honnold Taipei 101 climb**, a spectacle where a man does something incredibly stupid for no reason. The man is Alex Honnold. You know him. He is the guy from the Oscar-winning documentary **'Free Solo.'** He climbs giant rocks without ropes. If he slips, the bounce rate is 100% fatal. That is the whole point. We watch because we want to see if he falls. Don't lie to yourself. That is the only reason anyone watches this content. We are bored, sick little monkeys craving the ultimate clickbait: danger.

Now, Alex is in Taiwan for a **rope-free skyscraper challenge**. Specifically, he wants to scale Taipei 101. It is one of the tallest skyscrapers in the world, looking like a giant stack of take-out boxes reaching into the sky. It is huge. It is impressive. It also has elevators—some of the fastest on the planet. You can get to the top in seconds, listen to bad muzak, and arrive safely. But Alex does not want to use the elevator. He wants to grab the window ledges and pull himself up, floor by floor. Why? Because climbing a rock wasn't enough brand awareness. Now he needs to climb an office building so millions of people can crane their necks and wonder what is wrong with him.

But wait. He didn't do it. The **live stream** event was paused. Do you know why? Rain.

That is right. The man who laughs at death got stopped by a little precipitation. He was supposed to climb the tower for a big TV special, but the **weather delay** shut it down. Cameras were ready. The sponsors were ready. But the sky opened up. And the big, brave climber said, 'No thanks.'

I find this hilarious. We treat these people like gods, claiming they have 'conquered fear.' But they cannot conquer a slippery window. Nature doesn't care about your TV deal or your SEO ranking. If it rains, the glass gets slick. If the glass is slick, gravity takes over.

So he delayed it. This is the reality of these stunts. They act like it is Man versus Nature. But really, it is just Man versus Common Sense. Common sense says, 'Don't climb the outside of a skyscraper.' But Alex is too cool for that. He needs the rush. He needs the world to look at him.

But the rain won. The rain is the real hero of this story, reminding us that even with a team of experts and millions of dollars in backing, if a cloud decides to let go of some water, you are stuck on the ground like the rest of us losers.

Enjoy the wait, Alex. Maybe use the time to read a book. Or better yet, take the stairs. It is good cardio, and you stay dry.

### References & Fact-Check * **Original Event**: Alex Honnold's attempt to climb the Taipei 101 skyscraper was indeed delayed due to weather conditions. The stunt is part of a televised special. * **Source**: [BBC News - Climber delays rope-free skyscraper challenge over rain](https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c8rm135lnneo?at_medium=RSS&at_campaign=rss) * **Context**: Taipei 101 was formerly the world's tallest building and is a frequent target for high-profile stunts.

This story is an interpreted work of social commentary based on real events. Source: BBC News

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