There is a particular brand of cowardice that can only be cultivated in the climate-controlled, tax-exempt offices of Washington D.C., and the International Monetary Fund has just perfected the craft. Behold the latest World Economic Outlook, a document titled 'Global Economy: Steady amid Divergent Forces.' If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of several hundred highly-educated bureaucrats putting their heads into the sand simultaneously. To call this 'sane-washing' is an insult to sanity. It is a masterclass in the clinical erasure of reality, an attempt to describe a screaming dumpster fire as a 'moderately energetic thermal event.' The IMF has looked at a world being held hostage by the whims of a man who views geopolitics as a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos and decided that what we really need is more passive-voice prose.

Let us address the 'Divergent Forces' that the IMF so delicately mentions. In the real world—the one the rest of us are forced to inhabit while the IMF eats catered lunches—these forces are not abstract economic vectors. They are the erratic firing of a geriatric’s synapses. Donald Trump has announced that he will levy a 10% tariff on goods from Denmark, Norway, Sweden, France, Germany, the UK, the Netherlands, and Finland. This is not a policy; it is a ransom note. From February 1st, the global supply chain will be strangled unless Europe hands over Greenland. It is the kind of demand one expects from a Bond villain who has suffered a traumatic head injury, yet the IMF treats it with the same urgency as a minor fluctuation in the price of decorative gourds. Their report makes no mention of Greenland. It makes no mention of Venezuela. It makes no mention of Trump himself. This isn't diplomacy; it's a collective psychotic break disguised as institutional neutrality.

The absurdity of the Greenland ultimatum cannot be overstated, yet it has been subsumed into the churn of the 24-hour outrage cycle. Imagine the sheer, unadulterated narcissism required to tell the sovereign nations of Europe that their economic survival is contingent upon the sale of an entire landmass. It is the 'Art of the Deal' applied to a world map by someone who probably thinks the Arctic Circle is a brand of high-end tires. If the tariffs jump to 25% in June as threatened, the global economy won’t be 'steady'; it will be a smoking crater. But the IMF prefers the comfort of its spreadsheets, where the total destruction of the post-war order can be modeled as a 'downside risk' rather than a terminal diagnosis.

On the Left, we see the usual performative hand-wringing. They talk about 'norms' and 'the international community' as if these things ever existed for anyone outside of a Davos cocktail party. They are shocked—always shocked—that a bully acts like a bully. On the Right, the intellectual vacuum is even more profound. These are the people who scream about 'freedom' while cheering for a state-mandated tax on every item they purchase, provided it’s packaged in a way that 'owns the libs.' They will pay double for a German car or a Finnish cell phone and call it a victory for the American worker, oblivious to the fact that they are simply funding the ego of a man who treats the Treasury like a personal piggy bank. Both sides are equally exhausting in their refusal to acknowledge that the system isn't breaking; it is being dismantled for parts by a toddler in a gold-plated sandbox.

The IMF’s refusal to name the threat is the ultimate act of complicity. By maintaining the pretense of 'normality,' they provide the cover necessary for this madness to continue. They act as if the global economy is a self-regulating machine that can withstand the erratic impulses of an egomaniac, provided we all keep using the correct terminology. It is a linguistic lobotomy. If you don't name the monster, the monster isn't real. If you call a trade war a 'divergent force,' you don't have to admit that the entire structure of global trade is being incinerated because someone wants their name on a glacier.

We are currently trapped in a loop of institutional cowardice and populist stupidity. The IMF will continue to release reports that read like a sedative for the terminally anxious, and Trump will continue to issue decrees that read like the delusions of a nineteenth-century colonialist. Meanwhile, the rest of us are left to watch the 'steady' decline of everything we were told was stable. The world is not steady. It is vibrating with the frantic energy of a civilization that has forgotten how to say 'no' to a madman. But don't worry—the IMF says the outlook is stable. And if you believe that, I have a very cold, very large island to sell you. Just make sure you pay in 25% increments.