There is a special kind of cognitive dissonance reserved for the American political theater, a spectacle where objective reality is not just ignored but taken out back and shot in the head. We are currently witnessing a masterclass in this specific brand of insanity regarding the United States economy. On one side of the ring, we have President Donald Trump, a man whose relationship with the truth is best described as 'abusive,' declaring the economy to be an 'A+++++.' Note the five pluses. Not one, not two, but five. This is the grading scale of a toddler who has just successfully used the potty for the first time, or perhaps a North Korean general describing the supreme leader’s golf game. It is a grade that does not exist in any accredited academic institution on this godforsaken planet, but it exists in the gilded, mirror-lined echo chamber of the executive branch.

Then, we have the public. The great, unwashed, huddled masses of consumers who actually have to buy milk, pay rent, and pretend that their 401(k) isn't just a casino for algorithms. They are giving the economy a 'C-' or, if we look at the darker corners of consumer sentiment, a 'D-.' This is a failing grade. This is the grade you get when you didn't read the book, didn't show up to class, and vomited on the exam paper. The chasm between 'A+++++' and 'D-' is not merely a difference of opinion; it is a difference of dimension. It is the distance between a Mar-a-Lago banquet hall and a tent city under a Los Angeles overpass. And frankly, watching these two realities collide is the only entertainment left in this crumbling empire.

The Conference Board’s Consumer Confidence Index ending the year sharply below its January peak is not just a statistic; it is a howl into the void. It is the collective realization that despite the cheerleading from the top, the ship is taking on water. The University of Michigan’s index confirms the malaise. But why the disconnect? Why does the man in charge see a golden age while the people he 'serves' see a rust bucket? Because the metrics of success have been bifurcated into meaninglessness. To the political class—and let’s be clear, this applies to the grifters on the Left just as much as the grifters on the Right—the 'economy' is a graph of the S&P 500. It is a measure of asset inflation, corporate buybacks, and how well the donor class is sleeping at night. By that metric, sure, give it an A+++++. Give it a gold star and a pat on the head.

But to the average American troglodyte, the 'economy' is the price of ground beef and the terrifying realization that one medical emergency will turn them into indentured servants. When the President shouts 'A+++++,' he is grading his own homework, using a red Sharpie to turn a failing mark into a smiley face. It is an act of supreme narcissism to look at a populace that is stressed, overworked, and underpaid, and tell them that they have never had it so good. It is gaslighting on a macroeconomic scale. 'Who are you going to believe,' he asks, 'me, or your lying bank account?'

However, let us not let the public off the hook entirely. The 'C-' rating from the masses is also drenched in stupidity. These are the same consumers who continue to leverage themselves to the eyeballs to buy plastic garbage they don't need, fueling the very corporate machinery they claim to despise. They whine about inflation while door-dashing a twenty-dollar hamburger. Their sentiment is a volatile cocktail of entitlement and ignorance. They want the 'A+++++' lifestyle on a 'D-' budget, and they are angry that the math doesn't work out. They look to the President to fix the price of gas as if he has a dial in the Oval Office, rather than understanding the complex, rapacious global supply chains that actually dictate their misery.

So, who is right? Is the economy perfect, or is it a disaster? It is neither, and it is both. It is 'Schrödinger’s Economy.' For the top ten percent, it is indeed an A+++++ paradise of compound interest and tax loopholes. For the bottom fifty percent, it is a D- struggle for survival. The tragedy is not the grade itself; the tragedy is that we are pretending these two groups are living in the same country. They aren't. They are occupying the same geography but living in different centuries.

The President’s grade is a lie told by a salesman. The public’s grade is a scream of pain from a victim. And I, for one, am bored by both of them. The economy is not a student to be graded; it is a wild animal that has been let loose in the house, and while the politicians argue over whether it’s a purebred lion or a mangy dog, it is currently eating the furniture. But please, carry on with your letter grades. I’m sure assigning a vowel to the collapse of the middle class will fix everything.