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The High-Altitude Liturgy of Mark Carney: A Davos Requiem for the Middle-Management Nations

Buck Valor
Written by
Buck ValorPersiflating Non-Journalist
Tuesday, January 20, 2026
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A hyper-realistic, cynical editorial illustration of Mark Carney standing at a glass podium in Davos, Switzerland. He is wearing a sharp, expensive suit, looking down from a high mountain peak at a sea of clouds. Below the clouds, tiny figures of ordinary people are huddled in the snow. The sky is a cold, corporate blue, and the podium is engraved with the words 'New World Order.' In the background, private jets are taking off, leaving trails that form the shape of a dollar sign.

There is something uniquely nauseating about the air in Davos. It isn’t just the thin oxygen of the Swiss Alps; it’s the suffocating concentration of self-importance that settles over the World Economic Forum like a designer-brand shroud. Into this gathering of the world’s most expensive haircuts stepped Mark Carney—the man who has never seen a central bank he couldn’t run or a global crisis he couldn’t transform into a slide deck. His recent speech, a ‘forceful’ exercise in technocratic sermonizing, was a masterpiece of the genre: a plea for a ‘new world order’ delivered by a man who represents the very order that has spent the last three decades making sure your rent is unaffordable while their stock portfolios remain pristine.

Carney’s thesis, if one can peel back the layers of neoliberal wallpaper, is that the old global structures are rotting—which is true—and that ‘middle powers’ like Canada are the ones to save us—which is a hilarious joke if you’ve spent more than five minutes in Ottawa. The sheer audacity required to stand in a room full of people who fly private jets to discuss carbon footprints and suggest that a country currently struggling to define its own internal trade barriers should lead the global charge toward a new geopolitical framework is, frankly, breathtaking. It is the kind of intellectual arrogance that only thrives in environments where everyone has a net worth exceeding the GDP of a small Pacific island.

He spoke of a ‘forceful’ transition, a word politicians and central bankers use when they want to sound like they have a spine without actually offending any of the donors in the front row. The ‘new world order’ Carney envisions is not some shadowy conspiracy of the basement-dwelling imagination; it is something far more boring and far more dangerous. It is a world managed by a permanent class of unelected experts—the ‘adults in the room’ who have managed to steer the global economy into a ditch and now demand more fuel so they can drive us further into the mud. These are the people who believe that every human problem can be solved by a carbon tax, a trade agreement, or a sternly worded communique issued from a ski resort.

For Canada, Carney’s vision is particularly delusional. He positions the Great White North as a bridge-builder, a moral authority in a fractured world. This ignores the reality that Canada is essentially three resource extraction companies and a real estate bubble masquerading as a country. To suggest that Canada can lead a group of ‘middle powers’ to stabilize the global order is like suggesting the manager of a suburban Whole Foods should take over the U.S. State Department because they’re good at organizing the organic kale display. It is a fantasy of relevance, a desperate attempt to pretend that the middle management of the global economy still has a seat at the table where the big players—the U.S., China, and the entities that actually own the politicians—are busy carving up the future.

But let’s not ignore the audience. The WEF is a secular church for the elite, and Carney is their high priest. His speech wasn’t intended for the people back in Toronto or Vancouver who are currently wondering if they’ll ever own a home; it was a job application for the next tier of global governance. When Carney talks about ‘working together,’ he means a consolidation of power among those who believe they are intellectually superior to the masses they govern. He represents the peak of the technocratic delusion: the idea that the chaos of the human condition can be managed through ‘frameworks’ and ‘incentive structures.’ It is a rejection of politics in favor of administration, a world where the only thing that matters is the stability of the system, regardless of how many people that system leaves behind.

On the other side of the aisle, the critics will scream about globalism and sovereignty, missing the point entirely. They think this is a plot to take away their freedom, when in reality, it’s just a group of very wealthy, very bored people trying to ensure they remain the ones who get to write the rules for a game they’ve already won. The Right will call him a socialist, which is an insult to socialism; the Left will call him a visionary, which is an insult to vision. Mark Carney is neither. He is the ultimate bureaucrat, a man who views the world as a series of balance sheets to be adjusted. His Davos speech was a requiem for a world that never existed—a world where the ‘experts’ were actually in control and the ‘middle powers’ actually mattered. The reality is much colder. As the private jets depart the Swiss tarmac, the ‘new world order’ looks suspiciously like the old one: a lot of talking, a lot of posing, and a total absence of anything resembling a solution for the rest of us.

This story is an interpreted work of social commentary based on real events. Source: Global News

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