ST. PETERSBURG—Admitting that they rarely leave the theater with such a spring in their step, officials from the Russian Ministry of Culture announced Tuesday that the blistering political satire *The Kholops* has been officially designated a “heartwarming tribute to traditional management styles.”

Despite the play’s intended depiction of the soul-crushing machinery of state oppression, government censors have reportedly returned to see the production over a dozen times, praising the protagonist—a terrifying tyrant who psychologically breaks his subordinates—as a “relatable underdog” and “a role model for middle management.”

“Usually, modern art is full of degenerate Western ideas like ‘hope’ or ‘individual agency,’ so it is refreshing to see a story where the moral arc bends toward absolute submission,” wrote Chief Censor Ivan Volkov in a glowing five-star review for the state newspaper. “We laughed until we cried during the second act, where the serfs realize their only purpose is to serve the whims of a capricious master. It’s that kind of wholesome, family-friendly content that really brings a nation together.”

At press time, the play’s distraught director was reportedly seen frantically adding scenes of explicit treason to the third act in a desperate, failed attempt to get arrested.