BRUSSELS—In a final tune-up before mingling with the global elite at the World Economic Forum, President Donald Trump reportedly made a brief pit stop in Belgium Tuesday to “stuff the European Union into a locker” and remind continental leaders exactly where they stand in the pecking order.

Witnesses confirmed that Air Force One idled on the tarmac for just 45 minutes, during which the President descended the stairs, pointed at a delegation of E.U. officials attempting to discuss the sovereignty of Ukraine, and loudly asked, “What are you nerds gonna do about it?” before slapping a binder out of Emmanuel Macron’s hands.

“I just wanted to swing by and see my favorite weaklings before I go hang out with the guys who actually have money,” Trump told reporters while putting the Prime Minister of Denmark in a headlock until she agreed to sell Greenland for a used jet ski and a coupon for a free steak. “They wanted to talk about ‘geopolitical stability’ and ‘borders,’ and I told them the only border they need to worry about is the one between their faces and the toilet bowl. Sad! Total losers!”

at press time, the President was seen boarding his plane to Davos, shouting “Smell you later, dorks!” while throwing a half-eaten cheeseburger at the NATO headquarters.