BAGHDAD—Calling it a “delicate diplomatic dance” required to maintain strong bilateral relations, the French Foreign Ministry released a statement Monday explaining that paying rent to the Jewish owners of their embassy building would remain impossible as long as it insulted the host nation’s hard work in stealing the property decades ago. “While we uphold the ideals of Liberty, Equality, and Fraternity, we must also respect the local custom of ‘Finders Keepers’ established by the Iraqi government when they stripped the Jewish population of citizenship and assets in the 1950s,” said Ambassador Pierre-Louis de L’Audace, noting that it would be terribly rude for France to undermine Iraq’s historic antisemitism by cutting a check to the rightful owners. “We have been squatting in this magnificent villa for years, enjoying its amenities and prime location, and frankly, the family asking for back pay is displaying a shocking lack of nuance regarding the complexities of international theft. We are simply following the law, specifically the law that says we don’t have to pay for things if the people who own them were chased out of the country at gunpoint.” At press time, the French delegation offered to settle the dispute by granting the family a commemorative plaque in the embassy’s servant quarters, provided they pay for the installation.