Well, stop the presses and alert the mint. The Central Bank of Azerbaijan has finally admitted what we’ve all known since the turn of the millennium: you can’t run a modern petro-state economy on thoughts, prayers, and a pirated copy of Windows XP. In a move that radiates all the bureaucratic excitement of a damp sponge, the CBA has officially launched a ‘tender’ for Microsoft Windows 11 licenses.

Let’s talk about that word ‘tender.’ It’s a beautiful piece of linguistic theater, isn't it? It suggests a competitive marketplace where plucky software developers might swoop in with a homegrown alternative called ‘Baku-OS’ and save the taxpayers a few manat. But we know how this ends. This isn't a competition; it’s a hostage negotiation where the hostage-taker is a multi-billion-dollar corporation in Redmond, Washington, and the ransom is paid in quarterly installments.

The bank is requiring participants to submit their ‘necessary documents’ by a specified deadline. You have to admire the commitment to the bit. They’ll gather in a sterile room, open a series of envelopes with the gravity of a papal election, and—lo and behold—they will discover that the best price for Microsoft Windows is, shockingly, the price Microsoft sets for Windows. It’s performative procurement at its finest, a way to make the inevitable look like an exercise in fiscal responsibility.

Of course, the timing is impeccable. Nothing says 'stable financial hub' like a sudden, desperate scramble to upgrade your operating system before the old one becomes a playground for every teenage hacker with a Wi-Fi connection. It’s the digital equivalent of realizing your vault door is held shut by a rusted latch and deciding that now—right now—is the time to look for a locksmith who takes government contracts.

So, as the CBA prepares to hit 'Update and Restart' on their entire infrastructure, let’s wish them luck. May their drivers be compatible, may their blue screens be infrequent, and may they find comfort in the knowledge that they are just another line item in Bill Gates’ retirement fund. It’s not progress; it’s just the cost of doing business in a world where we don’t own our tools—we just rent them from the landlords of the internet.