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Jakarta’s New Code: Because Nothing Says 'Strong Leadership' Like Arresting People for Having Fun

Buck Valor
Written by
Buck ValorPersiflating Non-Journalist
Monday, January 19, 2026
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A surreal, acid-toned illustration of a giant, fragile glass president sitting on a throne made of bedroom doors, surrounded by morality police with magnifying glasses, in a dark, dystopian Jakarta landscape, satirical art style.

Oh, look. Indonesia is 'worrying' the international community again. As if the 'international community' is anything more than a collection of over-leveraged nation-states pretending they aren't all circling the same drain of terminal stupidity. Jakarta has decided that the best way to handle the complexities of the 21st century isn't through infrastructure, education, or—heaven forbid—actual governance, but by policing the genitals of its citizens and the fragile feelings of its executives. It is a breathtaking display of bureaucratic insecurity, and frankly, I’m only surprised it took them this long to codify their cowardice.

The new criminal code—a charming little relic of colonial-era thinking updated with modern-day authoritarian spice—prohibits demeaning the president. Because, of course, the mark of a truly great leader is needing a legal shield against a mean tweet or a well-placed caricature. It is the ultimate fragility: 'Love me, or I will use the state’s monopoly on violence to make you regret your literacy.' It is pathetic. But let’s not pretend the 'civilized' West is any better. In the United States, they don’t necessarily arrest you for demeaning the president; they just wait for a mob of basement-dwelling partisans to do the dirty work of social professional execution for free. Indonesia is just cutting out the middleman. They are being honest about their narcissism, which is almost refreshing if it weren't so inherently repulsive.

Then we have the 'morality' clauses. Sex outside of marriage is now a criminal offense. Bravo. In a world where the climate is collapsing, the global economy is a series of Ponzi schemes stacked in a trench coat, and microplastics are replacing our actual cells, the Indonesian government has decided the real threat to national security is two consenting adults having a bit of fun without a piece of paper signed by a local bureaucrat. It is the classic distraction play: when you are utterly incapable of providing clean water, stable jobs, or a future that doesn't look like a dystopian fever dream, you provide a moral crusade. It is cheap, it is effective, and it keeps the religious zealots from looking too closely at the offshore bank accounts of the ruling class. They’ve swapped economic prosperity for the prurient thrill of being the national bedroom monitor.

The Right-wingers in Jakarta are currently high on the fumes of traditionalism, convinced that they are 'protecting' the fabric of society. It’s a delusion. You don't protect a society by turning every neighbor into a potential informant for the morality police. You just create a culture of terrified hypocrites. Meanwhile, the Left-wingers in the West are performing their usual choreographed dance of 'deep concern.' They issue statements from their climate-controlled offices in Brussels or D.C., clutching their pearls about 'human rights' and 'democratic backsliding' while conveniently ignoring that their own systems are just different flavors of the same control. One side uses God; the other uses 'Safety' or 'Equity' as a pretext to expand the surveillance state. It’s the same cage, just painted a different color to match the local aesthetic.

What’s truly hilarious—in a bleak, 'we-are-all-doomed' kind of way—is the reaction of the tourism industry. The primary tragedy of a nation sliding into a neo-theocratic police state, according to the media, is the inconvenience it might cause to a person named 'Chad' from Sydney looking for a cheap Bintang and a quick hook-up in Bali. The 'worry' isn't for the millions of Indonesians who will now live under the thumb of a thin-skinned executive; it’s for the profit margins of travel agencies. It perfectly encapsulates the modern condition: human rights only matter when they intersect with the ability of the wealthy to behave like hedonistic toddlers in a foreign land.

This shift in Indonesia isn't an anomaly; it’s the logical conclusion of the modern state. Every government on this wretched rock is currently terrified because they’ve realized they have no idea how to actually solve the problems of the future. So, they retreat into the past. They retreat into 'values' and 'respect for authority' because they’ve run out of ideas. They can’t give you a better life, so they’ll give you a set of rules and a prison cell to think about your 'transgressions.'

So, congratulations, Indonesia. You’ve successfully joined the global race to the bottom. You’ve proven that the only thing more fragile than a politician’s ego is the freedom of the people who are unfortunate enough to live under them. We are all just one 'worrying' law away from being told exactly how to think and who to sleep with, all in the name of some nebulous 'greater good' that always seems to benefit the people at the top and no one else. Don't worry, though; I’m sure a strongly worded letter from the UN will fix everything. If you believe that, you probably also believe that the Indonesian president is just doing this because he cares about your soul. You’re all idiots.

This story is an interpreted work of social commentary based on real events. Source: SMH

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