Breaking News: Reality is crumbling

The Daily Absurdity

Unfiltered. Unverified. Unbelievable.

Home/Americas

The Great Patriotic Bankruptcy: Why the Market Despises Your Red-White-and-Blue Investment Strategy

Buck Valor
Written by
Buck ValorPersiflating Non-Journalist
Wednesday, April 16, 2025
Share this story
A gritty, cynical editorial illustration. In the foreground, a tattered American flag is being shredded by a stock market ticker tape machine. In the background, a decaying, rusty factory with a 'Made in USA' sign is collapsing into a pile of gold coins that are being vacuumed up by a giant, faceless corporate robot. The sky is a smoggy, sickly green-grey. High contrast, sharp shadows, satirical and dark tone.

There is a particular brand of terminal stupidity that surfaces whenever a politician starts talking about 'bringing jobs back.' It doesn’t matter if the orator is a tangerine-hued demagogue with a penchant for gold-plated toilets or a performative progressive pretending to care about the Rust Belt while checking their portfolio on an iPhone built by indentured servants in Shenzhen. The underlying delusion is the same: the belief that the global economy is a moral theater where 'patriotism' is a valid currency. The latest data reveals a truth so cold it could freeze the soul of a private equity vulture: stock markets are actively punishing firms that dare to invest in the fever dream known as 'Trump’s America.'

We are currently witnessing the collision of nineteenth-century nationalist sentiment and twenty-first-century algorithmic reality, and, predictably, the algorithm is winning. The concept of 'reshoring'—the act of dragging manufacturing back to American soil—is being treated by Wall Street not as a heroic homecoming, but as a suicide note written in crayon. While the Right babbles about 'America First' and the Left occasionally cosplays as the party of the working man to secure a few swing-state votes, the market remains the only honest entity in the room because it is the only one that doesn’t pretend to have a conscience. It sees the sheer inefficiency of American labor, the crumbling infrastructure, and the regulatory labyrinth, and it correctly concludes that a factory in Ohio is just a very expensive way to lose money.

The irony is almost too heavy to lift. The very people who scream loudest about 'making America great again' are usually the same ones who worship at the altar of the free market. Yet, when that same market tells them that an American-made toaster is a financial catastrophe, they experience a cognitive dissonance so profound it could power the very power grids they’ve neglected for forty years. They want the 1950s back, but they want it at 2024 prices, oblivious to the fact that the post-war boom was a historical fluke fueled by the rest of the world being a literal pile of rubble. Today, the world isn't rubble; it’s a hyper-efficient network of supply chains that doesn't care about your flag or your feelings.

When a CEO announces a multi-billion dollar investment in domestic manufacturing to appease the political winds, the shareholders don't cheer. They don't stand up and sing the national anthem. They sell. They sell because they know that 'reshoring' is often just a polite term for 'political bribery.' It’s a way to avoid tariffs or garner subsidies, but as a long-term business strategy, it’s akin to trying to sail a trireme through a hurricane. The market rewards margins, not geography. If you can’t produce a widget for three cents in a country where the workers have the audacity to demand 'rights' and 'breathable air,' the market will find someone who can. The fact that this 'someone' is often a geopolitical rival is a detail the S&P 500 finds infinitely less interesting than a quarterly earnings beat.

This is the ultimate punchline of the 'Buy American' grift. The politicians get their photo-ops in front of half-finished steel mills, wearing hard hats that have clearly never seen a day of actual work, and the voters get the warm, fuzzy glow of misplaced nostalgia. Meanwhile, the actual capital—the stuff that actually runs the world—flees for the exits. The stock market is telling us that the 'American Dream' is a luxury good that the American economy can no longer afford to produce. We have become a nation of middlemen, lawyers, and 'content creators,' a society that excels at shuffling money around and shouting at television screens, but has forgotten how to actually make things without it being a subsidized vanity project.

We are told that reshoring is about 'national security' or 'resilience.' This is a convenient lie used to mask the fact that both ends of the political spectrum are intellectually bankrupt. The Right thinks tariffs are a magic wand that can undo decades of globalization; the Left thinks you can build a manufacturing base out of thin air using nothing but green energy mandates and hope. Both are wrong. You cannot legislate your way out of the fact that the United States has spent forty years de-industrializing in favor of a service economy that feeds on cheap imports. You cannot demand that the market reward you for being inefficient just because you’ve wrapped your inefficiency in a flag.

In the end, the 'Trump Penalty' in the stock market is just a symptom of a much larger rot. It is the sound of the world’s most powerful economy realizing that it has priced itself out of its own existence. We are watching a slow-motion car crash where the driver is arguing with the GPS about the glory of the destination while the engine is on fire and the wheels have already fallen off. The market isn't being unpatriotic; it’s just being rational. And in a world gone mad with populist delusions, rationality is the ultimate insult.

This story is an interpreted work of social commentary based on real events. Source: The Economist

Distribute the Absurdity

Enjoying the Apocalypse?

Journalism is dead, but our server costs are very much alive. Throw a coin to your local cynic to keep the lights on while we watch the world burn.

Tax Deductible? Probably Not.

Comments (0)

Loading comments...