In a world where irony has not only been murdered but its corpse has been desecrated for social media engagement, we now find Benjamin Netanyahu—a man whose relationship with the International Criminal Court is roughly as amicable as a cat’s relationship with a vacuum cleaner—taking a seat on the Gaza ‘Board of Peace.’ If you ever needed a sign that the simulation is broken or that the gods are simply bored and looking for a laugh, this is the definitive proof. The news that a man currently facing a wanted war criminal status from the ICC is being tapped to oversee the ‘peace’ process in the very territory he has systematically leveled is the kind of dark comedy that even the most cynical satirist would hesitate to write for fear of being too on-the-nose. But reality, as it turns out, has no such shame.

Let’s look at the sheer, unadulterated gall of the move. The International Criminal Court, that expensive club in The Hague where European bureaucrats in expensive robes pretend that ‘international law’ is something more than a polite suggestion for countries without nuclear weapons, has issued warrants. They talk of ‘crimes against humanity’ and ‘war crimes,’ using the sort of language that makes for excellent headlines but results in zero actual arrests. And yet, the response from the international diplomatic machine is to pull up a chair for the accused at the peace table. It is the geopolitical equivalent of appointing a pyromaniac to the local fire department’s safety oversight committee because he ‘knows the terrain.’

Naturally, the reports suggest there are ‘concerns over the objectivity’ of the board. Concerns? That is like saying there are ‘concerns’ about the nutritional value of a diet consisting entirely of shards of glass. Objectivity in the context of Gaza has been a ghost story for decades—a myth we tell ourselves to maintain the illusion that there is a rational, neutral path out of a century-old blood feud. By inviting Netanyahu to the board, the organizers aren't just ignoring his legal status; they are signaling that the concept of accountability is officially dead. It has been replaced by the ‘Board of Peace,’ a title so vapid and Orwellian that it sounds like a rejected department name from a dystopian YA novel. These boards exist for one reason: to produce glossy PDF files and press releases that allow world leaders to pretend they are doing something while the actual business of carnage continues unabated.

The Left, predictably, will perform its usual dance of performative outrage, clutching their collective pearls and tweeting frantically about the death of democracy, as if democracy hasn’t been on life support in that region since before the invention of the internet. They will call for boycotts and sign petitions that will be ignored by everyone with actual power. Meanwhile, the Right will circle the wagons, screaming about ‘sovereignty’ and ‘antisemitism’ to deflect from the fact that their champion is currently dodging international arrest warrants like a common grifter dodging a landlord. Both sides are fundamentally invested in the theater; they need the conflict to sustain their own pathetic relevance. Without the rubble of Gaza and the intransigence of the Israeli leadership, half the political commentators in Washington and London would have to find honest work, a prospect far more terrifying to them than any war.

And what of the board itself? One can only imagine the meetings. A collection of career diplomats, ‘peace experts’ with tenure at Ivy League schools, and a man who views the Geneva Convention as a list of creative obstacles. They will discuss ‘frameworks’ and ‘sustainable pathways’ while the people on the ground continue to live in a graveyard. The addition of Netanyahu doesn’t just ‘damage’ the board’s credibility; it reveals that the board never had any to begin with. It is a pantomime of progress, a way for the global elite to launder their complicity through a committee. We are expected to watch this play out with a straight face, to debate the ‘strategic implications’ of the move, and to wait for the next report that will inevitably conclude that peace is very difficult and requires more funding.

Ultimately, we get the leadership we deserve. We live in an era where the optics of peace are more valuable than the absence of war. If you can put a war criminal on a peace board, you have successfully decoupled words from their meanings. ‘Peace’ now simply means ‘a period of time where the killing is managed by a committee.’ ‘Justice’ is just a thing that happens to poor people in countries without lobbyists. As Netanyahu takes his seat, the message to the world is clear: if you kill enough people and stay in power long enough, eventually, they’ll stop trying to arrest you and start asking for your input on the décor of the new world order. It’s not just cynical; it’s the logical conclusion of a civilization that has traded its soul for a seat at a very expensive, very useless table.