The spectacle of Mark Carney—the man who never met a global crisis he couldn't monetize or a central bank he couldn't leave for a better-paying gig—traipsing through Beijing and the ASEAN summits is the kind of theatre that only the truly delusional find 'strategic.' We are told, with the breathless, sycophantic sincerity of a government press release, that energy is Canada’s 'gateway' to Asia. This is a delightful euphemism. Usually, when you talk about a 'gateway' in the context of international relations, you mean a portal of mutual prosperity. In this instance, it refers to the desperate act of a resource colony trying to find a new master because its old one is too busy having a geriatric mid-life crisis.

Carney, the supposed 'adult in the room' who has spent years lecturing the world on the transition to a green economy, is now apparently the Chief Traveling Salesman for the very molecules he spent a decade demonizing. The irony is so thick you could drill for it. He arrived in Beijing not as a statesman of a sovereign power, but as a glorified energy broker, hoping that if he speaks in enough hushed, technocratic tones about 'Indo-Pacific integration,' the Chinese Communist Party might forget that Canada is essentially a giant, frozen parking lot for American interests. It is a masterclass in cognitive dissonance: pretending to lead the world in carbon taxation at home while begging the world’s largest polluter to buy more of your liquid carbon abroad.

The 'Indo-Pacific Strategy' is the latest in a long line of Canadian branding exercises designed to hide the fact that the country has no real leverage. It’s a brochure masquerading as a foreign policy. Carney’s attendance at the October 2025 ASEAN summit was a study in performative relevance. There he was, nodding sagely while Southeast Asian leaders calculated exactly how much discount they could squeeze out of Canadian LNG before returning to the serious business of ignoring Ottawa entirely. To the titans of the Asian market, Canada is not a 'partner'; it is a warehouse with a polite accent. They don’t want our 'shared values' or our lectures on human rights; they want cheap BTUs to fuel the industrial machines that will eventually render the rest of Canada’s economy even more obsolete than it already is.

The Left will inevitably decry this as a betrayal of environmental 'commitments,' as if those commitments were ever anything more than a PR shield for the status quo. They will weep into their soy lattes about the 'climate emergency' while ignoring that their own lifestyles are underwritten by the very energy exports Carney is hawking. The Right, meanwhile, will grumble that Carney isn't being aggressive enough, as if shouting at a dragon would make it buy more wheat or oil. Both sides of the aisle are equally pathetic, locked in a domestic squabble over the deck chairs while the ship is being towed to a scrapyard in Shanghai. They miss the fundamental reality: Canada’s 'energy gateway' is actually a one-way street where the toll is paid in national dignity.

Carney’s Beijing visit is particularly poignant in its futility. It is the ritualistic kowtow of a nation that finally realized its moral high ground provides zero warmth during a winter without trade. The Indo-Pacific region doesn't want Canada's 'enlightened' perspective. They don't want Carney’s lectures on fiscal sustainability or 'inclusive growth'—concepts that sound increasingly like the frantic scratching of a mouse inside a shoebox. They want resources. And Carney, ever the pragmatist, is happy to provide the rope for the country’s own hanging, provided the rope is sustainably sourced, ESG-compliant, and carries a high enough credit rating.

This is the tragedy of the modern technocrat. They believe that with enough data points, a sufficiently expensive haircut, and a few 'productive' meetings in Beijing, they can negotiate with the cold laws of geopolitics. Carney thinks he is opening a gateway; in reality, he is just making sure Canada is the first thing through the shredder. The ASEAN leaders know it. The Beijing officials definitely know it. They see a country that has spent years hobbling its own industries now coming to them, hat in hand, offering the very products it claimed to be moving past. It would be funny if it weren't so transparently sad.

Ultimately, the trip shows nothing except the hollowed-out core of Canadian relevance. We are led by men who believe that 'engagement' is a substitute for power, and that a trip to China is a 'mission' rather than a surrender. As Carney prepares for his next slide deck presentation on the 'nexus of energy and security,' the gateway remains open, but it’s not Canada walking through it. It’s the future, and it doesn’t speak English or French, and it certainly doesn't care about the legacy of a former central banker trying to play Prime Minister on the world stage. The world isn't listening to Canada; it's just checking the price of the gas.