Behold the latest chapter in the tedious, never-ending saga of American 'diplomacy,' a word that here means 'reminding the neighbors who owns the fence.' William Burns, the Director of the CIA—an organization that has historically treated the sovereign nations of Latin America with the same respect a lawnmower shows a blade of grass—recently spent two hours in Caracas. Two hours. That is barely enough time to clear customs and find a decent espresso, yet we are led to believe that in this blink of a bureaucratic eye, the future of Venezuela was hashed out over a mahogany table. The official line, delivered with the kind of practiced vacuity that only a US official can muster, was that they discussed 'economic opportunities' and the prevention of Venezuela becoming a playground for 'America's adversaries.' It is a narrative so transparently cynical that it borders on the poetic.

Let us first deconstruct the phrase 'economic opportunities.' In the dialect of the Beltway, this is the polite way of saying the US has suddenly remembered that Venezuela is sitting on the world’s largest proven oil reserves. For years, the American policy was to starve the nation into a picturesque collapse, hoping the populace would do the heavy lifting of regime change for them. But reality, that pesky intruder, has intervened. With global energy markets looking like a fever dream and the transition to green energy moving at the pace of a tectonic plate, the 'Company' has decided it’s time to play nice with the new management. The hypocrisy is staggering, yet utterly predictable. The Left will decry this as imperialist meddling, ignoring the fact that their socialist utopias have a habit of turning into kleptocratic nightmares that require this very meddling to keep the lights on. The Right will scream about 'dealing with communists,' conveniently forgetting that their brand of 'freedom' usually comes with a corporate invoice attached.

Then we have the comedy of 'preventing Venezuela from becoming a place for America’s adversaries.' This is the Monroe Doctrine polished up for a new century of irrelevance. The United States views the Western Hemisphere as its private backyard, a place where only Washington is allowed to bury the bodies. The idea that Russia, China, or Iran might set up shop in Caracas is treated as a moral affront, as if the US hasn't spent the last century setting up shop in everyone else's backyard from Hanoi to Hamburg. It is a geopolitical game of 'Capture the Flag' played with human lives and national destinies. Burns wasn’t there to protect democracy—he was there to mark the territory. The message to the new Venezuelan leader was simple: 'You can be a dictator, you can be a reformer, or you can be a ghost, but you cannot be China's best friend.'

And what of this 'new leader'? Another figurehead in the long line of men who mistake the gilded chairs of Miraflores for actual power. To the CIA, a leader is merely a variable in an equation that always equals American hegemony. Whether this new individual is a genuine change-maker or just another grifter in a better suit is irrelevant. They are now officially in the orbit of the 'Company Store.' They are being told that their 'economic opportunities' are contingent on their obedience. It is the same old song, just with a different conductor. The Venezuelan people, meanwhile, remain the silent extras in this high-stakes theater, waiting to see if 'economic opportunities' means food on the table or just more offshore accounts for the ruling elite.

The sheer arrogance of a two-hour meeting to settle these scores is perhaps the most honest part of the whole affair. It screams of a superpower that is bored with its own dominance. Burns didn't need more time because there was no negotiation; there was only the delivery of terms. The world is a cacophony of dying empires and rising grifters, all shouting over each other while the CIA calmly checks its watch. We are trapped in a cycle of performative outrage and deep-state pragmatism where the only thing that actually trickles down is the contempt. If this is the 'new era' of relations in the Americas, it looks remarkably like the old one, just with less mystery and more paperwork. The tragedy isn't that the game is rigged; the tragedy is that the players are so unimaginative in their perfidy.