LONDON—Hailing the revival of a beloved national pastime that had been stifled by burdensome child labor laws and central heating, the United Kingdom celebrated a major economic win Tuesday as the chimney sweep industry welcomed back its most valuable asset: armies of small, coughing children.

“For too long, British citizens have been crushed by high energy prices, all while perfectly good eight-year-olds sat around playing Fortnite instead of scrubbing creosote out of a narrow flue for tuppence a day,” said Nigel Pennyfarthing, head of the newly reinstated Guild of Master Sweeps and Workhouse Overseers. “Nature is finally healing. We’ve traded in our expensive robotic inspection cameras for a lad named Pip who is small enough to be lowered down the stack by his ankles and hungry enough to eat the blockage.”

Households across the country report that the transition has been seamless. While modern sweeps claim to use “new tools and technology,” homeowners confirm this mostly refers to strapping a GoPro to a toddler’s forehead and prodding them with a slightly more ergonomic stick. At press time, the Ministry of Labour announced that with the chimney sector booming, the nation is now ready to reintroduce the strategic deployment of canaries into coal mines.