In a move that surprises absolutely no one with a functioning neocortex, a Republican-led House committee has finally gathered enough collective energy to vote on something other than their own lunch orders. On Wednesday, the panel advanced contempt of Congress resolutions against Bill and Hillary Clinton, the eternal protagonists in the American psychodrama that refuses to end. The charge? Failing to adequately satisfy the committee's curiosity regarding the late Jeffrey Epstein, a man whose death was as convenient as it was suspicious, and whose life was a masterclass in how the global elite treat the rest of the species as a buffet.

To hold someone in 'contempt' of Congress is, of course, a linguistic paradox. It implies that there exists, somewhere in the hallowed, marble-cluttered halls of the Capitol, a reservoir of dignity or utility that one could possibly hold in disregard. It is like charging a man with being 'disrespectful' to a dumpster fire. The fire doesn’t care; it just continues to consume whatever garbage is tossed into its maw, providing nothing but heat, smoke, and a faint smell of burning plastic. The Clintons, for their part, have built an entire political dynasty on the foundation of contempt—contempt for the rules, contempt for their enemies, and a particularly refined contempt for the memory span of the American voter.

The GOP-led committee is not, despite their performative huffing and puffing, engaged in a quest for truth. If truth were the goal, they wouldn't be politicians. They are engaged in the only thing they know how to do: branding. By escalating this investigation into the Epstein saga, they aren't looking to provide justice for victims or transparency for the public. They are looking for a headline that fits on a fundraising email. They are milking the Epstein specter like a desiccated cow, hoping that by associating the Clinton name with the world’s most infamous financier-turned-pincushion, they can keep their base in a state of perpetual, frothing agitation.

On the other side of the aisle, the Clintons remain the ultimate political cockroaches—survivors of every scandal, every investigation, and every attempt to retire them from the public consciousness. To imagine that a contempt resolution from a House committee will bother them is to fundamentally misunderstand the nature of the beast. Bill and Hillary have spent decades navigating the murky waters where power, money, and questionable flights on private jets intersect. A 'contempt' charge is merely a Tuesday for them. It is a badge of honor in a world where the only thing worse than being investigated is being ignored.

The setting for this pantomime is a 'high-profile investigation,' a term used by journalists to describe any event where nothing of substance happens but everyone is wearing expensive suits. The committee’s vote sets the stage for a potential full House vote next month, which is a lovely way of saying they are planning to do nothing for another thirty days. This delay is essential. It allows the outrage to marinate. It ensures that the news cycle can be milked for every possible drop of partisan bile before the inevitable result: a vote that follows strictly along party lines, followed by a referral to a Justice Department that will treat the document with the same urgency a teenager treats a chore list.

The tragedy here is not the corruption—corruption is the natural state of the American political animal. The tragedy is the sheer, grinding boredom of it all. We are forced to watch two groups of deeply unlikable people perform a ritualistic dance over the grave of a man who embodied the very worst of their shared social circles. The Republicans pretend to be the vanguard of morality, ignoring their own closets full of skeletons, while the Clintons play the role of the persecuted aristocrats, pretending they never knew the man whose island they may or may not have frequented.

Ultimately, this is about the death of accountability. In a functional society, the Epstein investigation would have yielded names, dates, and consequences. In our society, it yields a committee vote on a Wednesday and a promise to maybe, possibly, vote again next month. It is a feedback loop of incompetence and cynicism. The House panel holds the Clintons in contempt; the Clintons hold the House in contempt; and any citizen with half a brain holds the entire charade in a contempt so deep it could qualify as a religious experience. We are not watching a legal process; we are watching a corporate merger of two brands of failure, repackaged as 'oversight' for an audience that is too tired to change the channel.