WASHINGTON— brushing off criticism regarding his administration’s warming relations with the Venezuelan regime, President Donald Trump told reporters Tuesday that the decision was simply a matter of physics, noting that “the will of the people” is notoriously difficult to refine into unleaded gasoline.

“We looked at the opposition, and they offered us democracy, they offered us free elections, very nice things, very distinct, but have you ever tried to pour a civil liberty into a combustion engine? Nothing happens,” said Trump, miming the motion of squeezing a ballot box over a gas tank. “I asked my generals, ‘Can we fly the jets using due process?’ and they said, ‘No sir, Mr. President, we need the thick, black sludge.’ It’s a terrible trade, folks. Maduro has the goo that makes the trucks go vroom, and the other guys just have hope. You can’t put hope in a pipeline. It leaks everywhere.”

At press time, the President was seen trying to barter a crate of surplus Bill of Rights replicas for a single quart of 10W-30.